Vinegar Love

An angst poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vinegar Love

Your love is

Like vinegar.

It's bitter

To my tongue,

It burns my heart,

And it pickles

My soul.

 

Your promises

Are as empty

To me as my

Bank account

Was when you were

Finished with me.

 

To think that

I believed

That you could

Spend your

Life sharing good

Times with me,

Feeling happy

And secure. 

 

That is just

As crazy as

Believing that

You could

Spin a mountain

Of manure

Into a ship

Filled with gold.

 

My ability to trust

Has been depleted,

Since all of my hopes

And dreams of building

A family with you

Have been defeated.

 

Thank God your sperm

Never took me to carry

A baby full-term. 

 

Raising spawn from

You would be like

Learning to live my

Life with my brain

Full of worms.

 

Your head

Is so huge

So bald

And so ugly.

 

The view makes me

Laugh and

Smile so smugly.

 

Let's see who you

Find to take my place.

 

Poor girl,

After awhile

She will have no

Smile on her face.

 

For smiles,

You and your

Wretched family

Will surely erase.

 

So let me move on

As quickly as I can,

Only then

I might finally

Have a chance to

Meet a real man.

 

Goodbye my love.

It was you,

Who I cherished

For so many years.

 

No longer

Will I wait

Patiently for my

Life to appear.

 

Now my life

Will take off,

My dreams shall

Take place,

And my tears

Will dry up

Like your Mom's

Ugly face.

 

 

Reviews

[Wondering Mind]

What a bitter write! And what better than to write bitterly when one's bitter...Stinging, this is!!

[KL]

The one thing I really enjoy about your writing is that it's very upfront, there's no attempt at ambiguity and cuts directly to the point (which is entirely opposite of my own style) and thus makes it very easy to understand. Not only that but in your consistent choice of words the flow is impeccable. EXCEPT. You gotta be more strict on whether or not you're going to use a rhyme scheme or not, because for you--since you have such a simple narrative--it dominates what you're trying to say. Loved the first stanza, 'pickled my soul,' made me smile a bit and laugh inwardly. So true.

[Nimbus Thread]

I hope he reads this Marie! I feel the screen sizzle with vinegar venom. Great write.

[Madame Mystique]

whoa some one is pissed great write :)

[TAO]

That is just

As crazy as
Believing that

You could
Spin a mountain

Of manure
Into a ship

Filled with gold.


LMAO. Okay, seriously, this was a great piece. So...so...raw? Potent, this righteous wrath for one who usurped a life and finally abdicated his place at the right hand of one who may be divine. Very well done.

[KatiePie]

Every time I read your work I feel my jaw drop a little with utter astonishment at how amazing your writing it. Gorgeous piece. Thank you for sharing.

[Steve]

Whoa! Very intense Marie..... some real anger and emotion to be sure.

Did it feel good to let it out? I hope so...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem is flaming with anger. You really showed us that your bark
is probably far worse than your bit. The last stanza was a kick in the gut.

[David W Moore III]

sooo.... tell us how you really feel! Wow, there was a bit of venom here, should have known by the title. Hope that got it off your chest! ;)

[Forever Mine]

Parts of this were pretty funny, but others were oh so serious... I wish i could review this more properly, but im kinda sick lol so this review will prolly suck. This is an all to common scenerio, but im glad the girl in the poem was able to get out so she wouldnt be miserable anymore