Late Night Water Colors and Smoke Dreams

A story about dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Late Night Water Colors and Smoke Dreams

Driving on the highway back to Key West late at night and I’m getting sleepy.  Restlessly, I crawl over the seat to the back seat to curl-up and take a brief nap. I'm just about to drift off and my body twitches, jolting me awake. 

 

Then I realize that no one is driving the car!  I’m desperately trying to scramble up to the front seat to steer the car back onto the road before the car crashes into a guard rail.

 

I wake up in a heavy sweat.  My heart is racing like a thoroughbred horse that just ran a long distance. It’s hard to calm myself back down.  I just lay there for minutes wondering why I keep having this same dream night after night.  My eyes are getting heavier and heavier now.  My vision is getting blurry.  Very soon I drift back to sleep.

 

All of a sudden, I’m in a bath tub at my old house taking a bubble bath.  There are translucent shiny bubbles overflowing out of the tub and spilling on to the mint green tiled floor. Lavender scented candles are lit on the bathrooms's vanity.

To my complete surprise, my ex-father-in-law is sitting at the edge of the bathtub with his curly mustache.  He's wearing his designer black tux that he wore to our wedding.  With his head cocked back, he’s making big white smoke rings from the smoke of his fresh cut Cuban cigar, In his other had he holds a highball of bourbon that he's drinking.

 

He offers me a drag of his Cuban cigar while I’m relaxing in the tub with out saying a word.  Silently, I take a long drag from the cigar and hand it back to him. as I take a big swig of his aged bourbon too. I choke from the swig of the stiff drink.  But I really need a drink after this week’s divorce court.

 

He leans back against the mosaic tiled wall, gazing at me. As he takes the cigar back from me. he tells me he’s going to miss me when I'm gone and out of his life.  He also told me that he'd always love me very much.

He wished things could have been different with my marriage to his son.  I cry when he tells me this while I’m in the bathtub.  I tell him that I loved him like a father too. That I'd always have a special place in my heart for him and his family. 

 

Then I rose up out of the tub with bubbles all over me.  I grabbed a plush pink towel and wrap it around my bubble body.  I open the white door that leads to the outside of the house.  When I open the door, I step inside a bright yellow waterslide.

 

Suddenly my ex is standing to the side waiting for me.  He's wearing an orange bathing suit trunks with a sailboat on the front.  He asks me to sit down in the slide, so we can slide down together. 

 

I sit down in the slide and exhale.  As he sits down in the slide, he wraps his legs and arms around me.  He kisses my back before we launch down the waterslide.

 

We slide down this curvy yellow waterslide together, laughing and joyously screaming.   Together we splash and plunge deep into this gigantic pool of refreshing bright aqua blue water that’s outside of our home. 

 

Afterwards we swim to the shallow end of the pool, where we embrace each other.  We lovingly kiss the deepest and warmest kisses, just as if it was our first day of love. We continue to kiss in the water until I wake up.

 

Shaking this whimsical dream off, I start sobbing when I realize that I was just having a dream.  He’s not really with me anymore.  But it felt so real.  It was just like old times.  I really thought that I was smoking a cigar. I could taste the sweetness of each puff.

 

I realized that my life could never be the same as it once was when I was married and living with my ex-husband.  We’ll never be best friends or lovers again.  We’ll never laugh or do anything together anymore.  

 

This makes my honey liquid heart ache with sadness.  A sadness that is so deep, that I’ll never reach the bottom of this vast cavern of discomfort.  Slowly I sigh and fall back to sleep.  At least I'll see him in my dreams.

 

Author's Note

Dreams tell a lot about our subconcious and how we are doing. They help us cope with life sometimes.

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

Dreams really are interesting, how they reflect our thoughts on some things, can sort out things we've been thinking about, or help us make decisions.

For the writing style, I would try making it seem more casual- it seemed a bit stilted to me. Perhaps change the structure to something more normal to help with that effect? Also, the phrasing could be different- use more contractions, try to slip in descriptions a bit differently, more subtly. Overall, nice write.... interesting. :)

-Coral-

[G. Anderson]

I just love your pictures and title ideas!

Gage

[MissVixen]

Also, you don't need to repeat the word "seat". The beginning confused me a little. I'm curious as to who is driving if the narrator is allowed to crawl into the back seat. I understand you were trying to go for the dream jumping which can be a little difficult. It was a great attempt and the idea is very interesting. With some more work, I think you will be able to pull it off.

I love the realization at the end! It wraps everything up very neatly even though its a sad reminder of something she has lost and can never have again :'(

[Michael of Gilead]

Sometimes you just have to shake off those weird dreams and leave them alone!

[Short.Nerd]

This is really good! Great job(:

[Dream Weaver]

A dream within a dream, how wonderful...
Very vivid and mysterious..nice!

[KL]

As a story, it wasn't the best. I understand you were trying to make it 'dreamlike' but the jumping back and forth was a little overdone and made it seem all over the place. The introduction was confusing as well. Who was driving? How did she manage to climb into the backseat and fall asleep if it was just her? You also gotta watch your tenses, 'cause occasionally you would switch between present progressive to past. There was also a bunch of unnecessary repetition and wordiness that hindered flow, as well as little mistakes like 'highball of bourbon.' A highball is a spirit mixed with a non-alcoholic beverage, like Coke. If it was just a glass of bourbon, it would be a glass of bourbon. Just something to watch out for in the future... if you're not 100% on a term, look it up or don't use it.

Beyond all this, the conclusion was good. It brought up a real perspective that the reader can connect with. Maybe not on the level of husband or wife but the concept is the same. Overall, though, it needs work. Keep at it.

[Robin]

this was intense and vivid

[Liza]

wow; you are so lucky you can remember your dreams after you wake up! Or maybe i'm lucky i'm reading your dreams.
this was such an easy and entertaining read for me and i usually don't like stories - you kept me going and wanting to know more
great job expressing this
whatever the dream represents for you
i hope you enjoy them...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This dream was uber-intense. You had many many symbols in there.
It was an amazing experience..I was right there along with you in my
minds eye.

[Joe]

This is really good! Nice job!