Graveyard Games

A short story about a little girl and her ghostly brother.

Running and skipping through the slumbering and sprawling country cemetery playing hide and seek by the light of the moon. I crawl inside a little granite house with a slate pitched roof and accidently giggle. I wiggle as crouch down trying my best to be very quiet and still, so he won’t find me. Shhhh! "Be very quiet now!"

Then I feel a thump on the back of my shoulder, as I hear “Boo!” Ha! I should have known Marvin would find me in his own little house covering his last resting spot.  Soon we start playing soccer throughout the cemetery with Marvin’s ball, running in and out of the headstones and the oak trees. Marvin scores a winning point kicking it past the Stone chapel at the very end of the graveyard.

Last summer Marvin started appearing in my room, which used to be his when he was alive. At first he would just giggle and sing with his sweet angelic whispering voice that I heard singing, "The ants come marching by two..." I was so touched when he made my Build A Bear Buddy dance and twirl to the song as he sang. We live in the yellow cape cod just across the street from the cemetery.

Marvin’s my towheaded baby brother with the sly grin, he died of the measles when he was only five years old before I was born.  He likes me to bring him braids of red licorice and bubble gum whenever I come to play while my parents are asleep.

He also loves me to bring him a few army men to play with too or a Spiderman comic book for him. On special events like the World Series or Christmas time, I'll bring my transistor radio that he can listen to.

Marvin is my best friend. He's so creative and exciting to be around. We have so much fun playing together, I wish he hadn’t died. 

Soon I may be joining him because I’m very sick too.  You see, I hear Mommy and Daddy whispering about my bone cancer late at night. My odds aren’t the best. Soon Marvin and I might be able to play a lot more together. I'm glad he came to guide me into my afterlife. You see he's my angelic brother from beyond, guiding me to Jesus.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Something from my imagination. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Rory CJ Frankson]

Marie, I didn't find this creepy in the least. In fact, it was for me rather endearing and could be taken in a number of different ways. Which for a short story its great when that is ran into. You made me read through a couple times after the end reveal, the yound girl sick with bone cancer. This element of sad relationship that hold no real future, other than a possibly soon joining.

I found the disciptive really well presented, I could feel the engagement. I loved the reveal that it was a baby brother who had died five years, before you were born. My thoughts on this: is that it is an awesome writ, an exceedingly well presented short and, very engaging. Thank you, for bringing this work to my attention. It was well worth the read... Great work.

[Coyote Poetry]

You have create a sad tale in this story. You had my attention from playing soccer in the graveyard. I like the way you directed the story to making Marvin a Angel helping the sister find her way to heaven. Thank you for a excellent story.
Coyote

[Chellie]

Such a tradgic, yet lovley story. It's very sad, but at the same time it is very inspirational. The love she has for the brother that she never met when he was alive is just amazing. And I love that she is not afraid to pass on because she has her brother to take her to her savior. This was a beautifully written story that touched my heart.

[Black Cat Fever]

This is very sad and enchanting too, maybe in a dark way. You did a really good job on this story, pulling the reader in like you do.

[Ashley.M.E]

This is really good... sorry it took me so long, I have gotten behind in read requests.

[Mauricio Montoya]

nice work.

[K@^^3r0n]

If your goal was to make this a thriller, and to send small chills down our spines, you could do that so easily, but simply hadn't. I liked the idea. If a bit more had been added and more detailed, more thoughtfulness was put into it, then i would probably be scared to go to sleep tonight. Other than that, wonderful job! -Kameron

[Miss Coral]

Hi there-
So, this was a nice piece. Morbid, somewhat dark, but nicely written, and I really liked the tone. I would watch out for switching tenses, and perhaps change the last sentence to make it a bit more powerful, and not just restate what we know. These are some more things:

Be careful of fragmented sentences: "Running and skipping through the slumbering and sprawling country cemetery playing hide and seek by the light of the moon." Also, some of the writing could be more concise. This is an example of a sentence that could be cut down a bit, "I should have known Marvin would find me in his own little house covering his last resting spot."


Otherwise, very nicely done. :)

-Coral-

[Norma M Sutton]

I love it. Leave me wondering if it's real. Well written.

I thought at first that this was going to be some kind of halloween themed story, but this is much more than that. This was so dark, and morbid, but beautiful in its own way. This is going into my favorites.
100/100