In A Sea Of Discomfort

A poem of emotional discomfort

In  A Sea Of Discomfort

White fog is very

dense on this high sea,

no light can pierce its heavy veil.

 

No drug or spirit is potent

enough to relieve my distress,

I’m lost in a turbulent

sea of discomfort.

 

Little ease or peace on where

to cast my anchor.

Fear keeps me from sailing onward,

but damned if I’m turning back.

My inner compass is damaged

and in need of repair.

 

My mind spins in constant

motion trying to chart the course

of my new destination and change

the direction that my ship is sailing

towards, but I’m growing weary.

 

Being patient, kind and

true to myself is my

guilty pleasure.

 

There’s more comfort in accepting me.

No matter who I am, where I am, or

what bad decisions I’ve made that led me

to these treacherous seas,

I love me.

 

 

Reviews

[E. L. Foley]

I find subtle humor in the line "I’m lost in a turbulent sea of discomfort" because discomfort is generally such a mild word. I liked the poem, but the font made it difficult for me to read. I understand the color choice, but I think the poem could better speak for itself in a more legible format.

[tynamite]

I like how the poem starts more abstract and irrational giving metaphorical representations of emotions before being more concrete and sensible as to why the person is upset.

[Hipster Detective]

I do like the rhymes here, but the whole format jumps around quite a bit, and I'm a bit obsessive compulsive about things like that. The idea of the poem is nice, but the wording is awkward.

[Rose Tyler]

I can relate to this very much, and I think a lot of people could relate as well. Bravo on a good piece. I do agree with Scott A. and Cheshire though, shorten it up a little maybe.

[Desert Dreamer]

Every time we grow there seems to be a time between the existance of the old and the new self, between the past and the future, when we feel uncomfortable about the changes we are experiencing. It is important to be true to your self.

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

"No drug or spirit is potent
enough to relieve my distress,
I’m lost in a turbulent
sea of discomfort."

I loved that part ^^ A well written piece. I agree with Scott A. Williams on shortening it though...

[Scott A. Williams]

Very good metaphor and strong imagery. I'd shorten it, it seems to meander in the middle, but you ended strongly.

[HereWithoutYou<3]

I liked it, I can relate to it very well. I like :)

[manchilld99]

I like the metaphor of one's life being a rough sea where, in the fog of discomfort no light pierces and floundering without direction takes over. But as well stated and imaged as that is, I think you undid it by becoming too prosaic -- directly stating too much at the end. It was as if you wanted to make sure the reader 'got it.' I think leaving it more for the reader to draw inference will have him/her 'get it' more certainly because of how well you create the initial images and mood. Easily fixed, if this makes sense to you.

[WorldOfMakeBelieve]

I like it. I can relate to it. I think its very will written and enjoyed it ^^