I Hate Home Depot!

A rant/rave poem.

I Hate Home Depot!

I hate Home Depot!

Just the sight of that

orange and white sign

makes my stomach turn.

 

However I know every

square inch of that store,

I’ve spent

thousands of hours there

as a paying customer.

 

I know what all is in the

garden section for all of the seasons.

I know where to go to find the

nuts, screws, nails and bolts. I can guide you

through the wallpaper and

the paint section.

 

I’ve bought sheets of plywood, lots of pvc pipe,

dozens of American Standard toilets,

ceiling fans, light fixtures, HVAC systems,

generators, even a riding lawn mower.

 

I’ve bought paint and waited to have it

mixed properly.  I’ve rented

and driven dozens of their trucks before.

 

I’ve bought power drills, leaf blowers

screwdrivers, hammers,  cabinets,

patio furniture, a refrigerator, an oven,

and an air conditioner.

I’ve even rented a carpet cleaner too!

 

But I could care less, if I ever step foot

in a Home Depot ever again.  All of my hours

clocked in that store went to the benefit

of my ex.

 

He was the one that financially,

emotionally and personally

gained from my presence in

Home Depot.

 

So what was the point of me acquiring

all of that knowledge that didn’t benefit

me at all then and probably won’t benefit

me ever again?

 

It seems like such a waste of my time

and energy now.

Believe me when I say,

I would rather watch paint dry than

go to Home Depot!

 

One summer I practically read all of

War and Peace in the orange and

white store from Hell!

 

But I can show you how to repair a large hole

in a piece of sheetrock.  I know how to

paint the inside and the outside of a house.

I know how to install travertine in a house,

slanted and straight.

 

I have installed granite countertops,

hardware for a sink and the basin too.

Many other home improvement projects

I learned there.

 

What a fool I was!

Oh well, that’s life.

 

Who knows maybe

someday I’ll use  some

of that knowledge that I

hated every minute learning!

Reviews

[Sasha]

Lol. Too bad my stepdad does home repair stuff because I'd put you to work in my place. And you would hate living with me because HD is literally just up the street from my house.

Anyway, I love the way you did the font/color in this. It was an easy read, but you said a lot for why you love and hate Home Depot. I give you props for creativity, too. It's rare I see a poem that isn't about love to begin with, nevermind one about a hardware store.

[The Analog Kid]

LOL...nice rant. You are a formidable self-contractor if needed. Yet, it reminds you of all the bad times. Cute write, Marie.

[Wolfwind Words]

This was great! Even though it was a rant about the negative outcome of a situation, it was wonderful!

I like the color you used, very fitting indeed. I do think the font might be a little less bold as some of the characters seem to blur together.

While I share in your frustration of having to work hard and having the results never by mine to use. I shall bring this to mind. Knowledge is Knowledge. Neither good nor bad. I'm sure that what you learned will be helpful in the future. :)

One typo.... it's PVC pipe...you had PCV...

Great Piece! It's very real!

Wolfie

[Marie Harrison]

This poem is about how and why I hate Home Depot. It also tells about all that I learned shopping at Home Depot.

[Liza]

omg - i find comfort in this rant - i hate being in any hardware place....loew's, home depot...my skin wants to crawl out of there - its unexplainable for me...thank goodness i'm not alone! maybe in our past lives we were toolsmen :)