This stupid distortion

I cannot shake this stupid hell
This fear eats me alive, and I am sick (or maybe dead): but all I know is I cannot shake this feeling. So I eat alive all the lies... I have said.
Dead and alive, I am not the living type. In this bad nightmare, I will never cope, sick of dope hearing the note of a song sung behind big eyes and a loaded gun.
I am fearful of what I keep inside,
in this hell where I am ill and sick and dying
so I fear away and go nowhere (I spin, I am spun, I cannot stop, this is what I have done).