Better this way

A long time ago, I was taught loss

losing you was the best form of doubt; and in my heart I knew war.

From sin and death, I found grave moral instinct. 

Wed in black, I find a longing

since you told me the hate we form against society, ourselves and the world is another tactile necessity for our own misconceptions. 

Love is not dead. 

Needing a remote life, I find a delicate resonance between life and death.

For I wish it wasn't so, because without idle love I am more sick, more dead, more sad...

I needed you, and you needed me.

But on the outside looking in, none of this matters.

For I bet, a title left is a closeness of material worlds.

Better yet, you saved me from myself. 

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of one who has been through the wringer and is striving for some consolation from it. There is pain here, but not bitterness, as I get the impression the speaker realizes there was some learning as a result of the ordeal. Indeed, we are all each other's teachers.
PS: I don't think you need a comma in the next to last line.

[Chris Shaw]

Some lessons we learn are painful. There appears to have been much suffering here.Where there is love, there is less suffering and living without love would be harder to bear. Thank you cheyenne. It’s been a while since I read you.

Chris

[cheyenne s garcia]

Thank you thank you thank you.
Dearest Chris.
All My Love - Cheyenne

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Cheyenne. I have been lousy at love and I still am.
"I needed you, and you needed me.
But on the outside looking in, none of this matters.
For I bet, a title left is a closeness of material worlds.
Better yet, you saved me from myself. "
I liked the honest truth in the above lines. It like we can't win and we can't lose. Just stuck in the mud of life. Thank you dear friend for sharing your amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[JayG]

This is a letter from someone unknown to someone not introduced. You have intent guiding your understanding as you read, so for you it works, perfectly. But what about the reader? You say:

"Wed in black, I find a longing since you told me the hate we form against society, ourselves and the world is another tactile necessity for our own misconceptions."

What can "wed in black" mean to a reader. I was wed in black because I wore a tux. But this might refer to a nun, and the wedding the symbolic marriage to Jesus. Without knowing gender, era and country, and, situation, the reader can only guess.

Given that you never explain this "hate," or the reasons given this unknown person, how can the reader react with anything but "huh?"

My point is that you're giving effect—the unknown speaker's response to the events—without giving their motivation to react as they did: the cause. You're talking TO the reader about what's meaningful to you. Instead, make it meaningful to the reader. Make THEM feel and care. Fill the reader with rage, lust, passion and laughter and they'll thank you. Talk about your rage, lust, passion and laughter, and because they lack context they'll yawn.

Make sense?

You did ask... 🤣

[Betty Hermelee]

What you told me about the world and hate in society is not true...What I need now is you, because the darkness is upon me...we needed each other, and what matterd in all this us that you saved me from myself.
Nice Write, much to discuss
Best, B