Him <3

I dont get inspiration much anymore but I get inspiration from him now :)

You light up my world like nobody else
you are the stars in my sky
you know how to make me smile
and make me laugh

You listen to me
and I trust you
you are my sun
and your amazing

God gave me you for the ups
and probably the downs and everything in between
you need to know just how I feel
and this poem says it all

Author's Note

its not very good cuz I thought of it as I was writing it but at least I tried

Reviews

[madbot]

It sounds very sincere.

Disclaimer: I am far, far, from a poetry expert. But I noticed 2 things that might (?) improve it.

1. You missed a chance for symmetry. Except for the 2nd line, the poem goes statement, and... statement, and... statement, and... but the 2nd line breaks the symmetry by not starting with and. So I humbly suggest for line 2, "and you're the stars in my sky"... or perhaps this is some pattern that is standard in such poems and I am just ignorant of it. If so, apologies.

2. your in this instance, should be "you're amazing"

3. Did I mention I know nothing about poetry? Feel free to ignore my comments just make the poem please yourself :)

[Tapher]

you tried and you suceeded, nice work. :)

[S. Michael Long]

i want you to go to the bookstore, and find a book called "the minds eye" its on amazon here http://www.amazon.com/The-Minds-Eye-Writing-Poetry/dp/020549823X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336881532&sr=1-1 (im not criticizing your writing, i am praising it.. i love your style and this is the book i learned to write poetry with.. Keep writing you are talented!! -s

[EMF]

Now that's beautiful. Really well written and passionate. Wonderful work. So, it's not very good. It's very great.