Troops

a story about a military soldier

       It has been two years since my older brother went to war. That's what I'm thinking about as I'm getting dressed for school on a tuesday morning. My mom comes to the stairs and yells " Honey, the news is gonna be on in a couple minutes!" I run downstairs as fast as I can and I turned the tv on. They had just started talking about the soldiers that have died. As soon as I say oh I don't care about this to myself, I heard my brother's name listed with all the dead soldiers. My heart instantly skipped a beat and I looked at my mom with a look of anguish and pain. Just as she was about to say something, the bus came to pick me up. I dragged myself on the bus wishing I could be with my brother.

      When I arrived at school, my friend instantly knew something was wrong. She was all over me asking if I was ok and if not what had happened. I told her my brother died and she understood why I was so upset. throughout the whole day I was dragging myself along the halls wiping the tears from my eyes. The weird part was I knew something bad was gonna happen to him before it even happened, but I just didn't know what was gonna happen.

      Finally, it was time for me to load the bus and go home. I arrived home in a daze and walked in to find my mom at the table crying. I told her it was gonna be ok and that she still had me to look after her. She looked up at me and smiled and I knew I at least made her feel a little better. Three days later we got a call saying that they were burying my brother in a cemetary around wyoming. The only reason they were burying him there was because he told them before he died that he wanted to be buried in wyoming.

    I went to his funeral with my mom and were cried until there were no tears left to cry. After that, I felt so much better. But since then I have had bad dreams about my brother. May he rest in peace. I love him and miss him so much.

     

Reviews

[Austin Smith]

I agree with (Super) Heroes Never Die. You definitely rush it way too fast. I've only read one instance where rushing the story produced a desirable effect, and that was the death of Curly in Call Of The Wild. This moment, however, needs to be elaborated. A lot of attention to detail, from the casual Tuesday morning to the burial in Wyoming, would make this story great.

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

Its good, but you kinda rush into it... If you added more details to it, I'd be able to feel the emotion in it a little more. Anyway, its a nice start.

[Melina A. Cambree]

Wow...this is really good. Sad, yeah...but still REALLY Good