The Stages of Grief

a year after my mother passed from cancer

It has been a year since you left me

I learned about the stages of grief

One by one in psychology 

Stage one: Denial

I can't believe that you're gone

You always joked that we wouldn't know what to do without you

And you were right 

Every day that I come home 

I sit and wait for you to come out of your room

To give me that big hug

And tell me "I missed you!"

Stage two: Anger

Why did the one person that had to leave be you?

I am jealous

I won't ever get the experience to have you see me at my wedding

Or for you to hold my kids in your arms

I am angry

That you didn't live the life you deserved

That I couldn't save you

Stage three: Bargaining

I would give up anything to have you back here

I would trade my schooling

I would raise all the money in the world

Maybe I could have stopped this

If I just tried harder

And if I could have afforded better doctors

I wish it were me instead of you

Stage four: Depression 

I wake up numb

Some days I don't get out of bed

I lay for hours

Drowning in my own tears

My heart breaks again and again

My empty thoughts are no longer empty

Because they're of you 

Stage five: Acceptance

I've made it a year without you

There are good days

Where I'll see a sign of you

To remind me that it's going to be okay

I'm going to do so much in your memory

I'm going to make you prouder

Than you ever have before

I don't believe in the stages

Because I have felt all of them at once

There is no endpoint of this grief

All of these emotions

Play on repeat

Bouncing back to back 

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

Acceptance, Anger, Bargaining, Denial, Depression

Anger, Denial, Depression, Acceptance, Bargaining

denialangerbargainingdepressionacceptance

grief 

Reviews

[Phonetics]

I could feel this pain in my heart and it had brought me to tears. I am truly sorry for your lost.