What's it like to be a Rainbow Baby?

What is it like to be a "rainbow baby"? 

What is it like to be the child after a stillborn?

It is the constant questioning on if you should have been the one to live 

It is the contemplation of what life could have been like with them as your sibling

I needed her

I needed someone to look up to as a sister

I needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay 

I needed someone who was going to teach me how to grow up and become a woman

But I didn't have that

I look up at the sky where my mother told me that my sister paints the rainbows that appear after rain

That she would have been just like me

That she would have been twenty years old today

She should have gotten the chance to live

She should have been able to grow up with us

She deserved to be here

But because of that, I work twice as hard

I have the pressure to be worth as much as two children

I have to make up for all the things she didn't get to bring to my family

And that, at times, 

Is too much

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

These 'lost' children can be tough for everyone and perhaps we focus too much on the loss for the parents. You have very eloquently expressed the effect this sad loss can have on the siblings. You might like to read my story 'dawn' on how a stillborn (in the story) might affect a parent (me!) I had a bit of a dilemma about publishing this because our kids didn't know about our termination. We have resolved this by telling our grown up children about what happened.
Regards,
Alan

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

What hides inside a rainbow? Is it really just color, or is it the hair dye of a beautiful girl?