Arrhythmia

Got home from the hospital late last night
Still can't seem to find my appetite
I can't seem to sit still
There's a hole that I don't know how to fill
I've listened to my ipod non stop
Headphones so loud I feel my ears are gonna pop
The dice will fall as they may 
But at the end of the day
I know that they were always loaded 
I feel like my life has always been encoded 
Protected by a cipher I could never completely break 
I never truly understood what was at stake
Until that day last week 
When you and I were hanging by the creek 
We were laughing and tossing rocks
Just relaxing having good long talks
When my vision started to go hazy
and I know this is crazy
But i knew then that I was dying 
And you started crying
I felt a sharp tightening in my chest 
I lost consciousness as the attack progressed 
I woke up in my hospital bed 
The doctors told me that I should be dead 
They used phrases like "suffered major cardiac event"
I asked what that meant
I told me that I had a heart attack
I was immediately taken aback 
I was only seventeen 
This was almost something that was unseen 
Arrhythmia was the name of the disease 
They said it was easy to manage with medicine and their expertise
But now I can no longer rest 
Knowing that I have ticking time bomb in my chest