The Truth of Lies (revised)

a collaboration with luthien7.

we are the zombie crowd
our fear is our guide
we scream at humanity
and sever all our ties.

…today, Britany Spears gave birth to her second…

ambling aimless after nothing
we're all so dead inside
we decay with every step
and rot truth within our eyes.

…at a news conference earlier this afternoon, President Bush said…

we are the zombie crowd
here we hunt and we hide
we are deceased, awake
truth becomes improvised.

…sources say that American Idol will see a drop in ratings this season due to…

talking heads in a vacuum
we're all so dead inside
walking by news tickers
and parroting parasites.

…in a related story, after almost eight years, Osama bin Laden has yet to be…

we are the zombie crowd
we're all so dead inside
we've become the bellies for
a food of misguiding lies.
 

Author's Note

After consideration, and after luthien7 explained the meaning of villanelle poetry, she and I revised the original work together to produce this piece. Personally, I think it turned out great. Thanks Luthien! Your expertise is much appreciated!

Reviews

[Gravedigger]

I couldn't agree more. I have yet to see a decent news program. it all seems so programed that I hardly ever care what's going on. A lot of what we isn't even what is really happening in the world, and everybody is content to merely be told something. I think my favortie line was'

"We are deceased awake
And truth becomes improvised"

Because nobody really cares anymore.
Really provoking thoughts. Awesome job!

[luthien7]

Sorry, guy -- not blank verse but Villanelle. I emailed you an example but let me know if it doesn't make sense.
Thanks

[luthien7]

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Great write, an excellent analogy of our society as a whole. It's easier than thinking, right? Willingly led by the media - our opinins fed to us and then regurgetated as truth in everyday life. I especially loved "Walking by news tickers | And parroting parasites" and "We've become the bellies for | A food of misguiding lies". Really reinforces the idea. Zombies, unthinking and driven by a need they don't understand feeding on their own.

I thought the rhyme worked very well, and that the repetition of certain lines worked for the greater concept...(the mindless repetition of zombie life is echoed). A previous post mentioned that there was too much repetition and I wanted to suggest that if you agree or wanted to vary it some you might try writing it in blank verse which structures stanzas pretty much the way you already have and uses repetitious rhyme only varying the ryhme every other stanza. You could accomplish the same feel of repetition without actually being repetitious. Just an idea if you wanted to vary it. Personally I love it as is.

THanks for the invite to read. This is great!

[J.P. Bristow]

ahh the propaganda machine.........we are all but spokes in its wheel........interesting write.......

[Ryan D. Mosley]

Great poem Damian. This is extremely true, and you really used a nice metaphor: "We are the zombie crowd"

However, this poem could use some work. The repetition is nice, but it gets old after a couple of stanzas, so perhaps if you only used zombie crowd once, or twice, then combined the bottom two lines of each stanza into the entire poem it would be better. Overall: Good Job!

[Collette]

TRUTH!!! I love the concept. It just flows like the typical channel surfer would, carelessly dulling the senses. As always, I am impressed. You've found an excellent way to make your statement without becoming overly preachy. Awesome, awesome job my friend. Perhaps it is I who will someday see you on stage... :)

BRAVA!

[Tania Leigh]

Damian, this is excellent, and so true. The repetition gave it lyrical quality, and I swear I heard a newscaster's voice in my head as I read the snippets of "news".

"We are the zombie crowd
We're all so dead inside
Walking by news tickers
And parroting parasites."

I try to avoid the news at all costs....I keep up with major issues by seeking them out online, but I have enough of high-speed chases, school lockdowns, mayhem and murder on the squawk box. Great piece!

[Lorna Lee]

The entire reason I no longer watch the news is wrapped up here....in a rotting nutshell. Again you manage to put into words, some of the disconnected thoughts that roam around in dark caverns of our mind.