The Theory of Og-olution

religious opinion

Where it comes to faith, I wonder how it is that our society can openly condemn cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh, yet we are more than willing to sit around and take the Pat Robertsons of the world in stride? Oh, sure, Robertson and his ilk will always pop-off with something ridiculous whenever something major hits the news. If the media reports some big catastrophe or another, one of his kind (and usually it’s Pat, himself) will start spewing that it’s society’s fault for invoking god’s wrath, society’s fault for not having enough faith, or society’s fault for some other such drivel. This sort of thing has been going on since the dawn of time. Historically speaking, we’re no further along on the religious fervor ladder than the cavemen, who thought that lightning struck our huts because we pissed off the gods in some way.

Personally, I’m of the staunch opinion that God did not create Man, Man created the gods. Why did we create the gods? Mainly to quell our fears of desolation, I think. Either that, or we’re truly masochistic at heart. In any case, here is my Theory of Og-olution:

One fine day, after a night of partying caveman style, Og wearily stepped out of his cave and cast a bloodshot eye up to the heavens just in time to see lighting strike a tree. The tree exploded, fire was born, and Og passed out. When Og came to, he woke to the sensation of the very first hot-foot, as his mischievous children, Ug and Li, had discovered matches while he slumbered.

As soon as his initial panic died down, Og probably had the bright idea that this all happened for reasons other than weather conditions. He thought that he had angered some being, who was likely quite larger than himself, by drinking too much the night before and by puking on the cave chick he was trying to pick-up (by the hair) at his cave’s annual Party ‘til You Grunt Karaoke Bash.

This immediately led to feelings of personal responsibility for his actions, so Og invented Paganism. He then began to feel guilty about what he had done, and those feelings immediately led to Judaism. Guilt, of course, led to notions of inadequacy. To curb this feeling he then invented Catholicism. Thus, he could feel better about drinking so much if he confessed his sins to his Personal Savior. Having this new Personal Savior seemed to stop the feelings of inadequacy, but then he began to think that he was the only one with God on his side.

In time, Og began to think of himself as something of a god himself. He then created Hedonism which, of course, led to Satanism. Then, just as his minions were placing the final touches on his Temple of Og, lightning struck and killed one of his followers. Even though he was now a hedonistic devil worshipper, Og felt bad for the guy. He had been a loyal servant, and Og started to cry. Compassion was built from this event and thus, Buddhism was born.

This little chain of events illustrates exactly how I feel about God. God is not some great being, waiting for the right opportunity or reason to strike us down. It could probably care less what we do, and more than likely, we are mere happenstance in a chain of events that was caused by the Big Bang. In fact, if there is one identity that most accurately depicts God, it would have to be the Big Bang. All other identities that have been attributed to this being are merely that which we puny humans have placed upon Him/Her/It.

I believe in God, in that I believe there is a Creator and this is the primary reason we continue to exist. I can’t bring myself to believe that we continue to exist today solely because of dumb luck. However, whether or not this Creator-thing wants or is deserving of worship is another story altogether. Personally, I don’t think It cares one way or the other. I think It has a job to do – a master Lego-builder, if you will – and having already accomplished that, It’s job is done. As for who this Creator is, what It is like, or what It wants from us, that’s completely up to the individual culture to decide for itself. Which they do, and apparently all too often.

It is my opinion that God is simply the birthing place of souls. It is also the place where we go after death to be reborn, whether on this planet or elsewhere. There is no Heaven, and there is certainly not a Hell. We answer for our past by way of our current dilemmas, which is all part of karmic influence.

Though most of us seem to have this overwhelming need to continue worship and to believe in this Thing, I'm not all too sure that It still believes in us. Perhaps It just goes along pumping out and regenerating soul after soul, not really knowing or caring if we worship it or not.

So, I suppose my point is simply this: God just really doesn’t give a s**t if your kids play with matches, or not.
 

Reviews

[cyanskye]

This is rather interesting. I think that society puts up with the Pat Robertsons because they haven't directly killed anyone, of course the arguement could be made for the fact that this is just pure laziness on the Robertson's Camp and those other guys were just more proactive.
I loved your synopsis on how Og developed each branch of religion. I think you may have hit on some truth there.
As for the rest - I am a huge beleiver in Karma.
Thanks for the thought provoking piece.
C