Black Rose

Well this one is sort of from the heart, I know what it's like to loose so many people you love and I know it's always good to write what you know. So I gave it a go.

Lifting my tear soaked face to the sky I could feel the wind lift and wrap my hair around my head. How could this be happening, how could any of this be real? No, no, no, no, no! I could feel more tears spill onto my face and leak down onto my shirt, I felt cold, empty, alone. I needed to be numb because if I could stop myself from feeling then it wouldn’t hurt so much, it wouldn’t feel like my heart had been ripped into pieces. Without considering were I was going, or caring I ran, and I didn’t stop, even when I heard the angry blare of a car that I’d narrowly missed. I could feel my chest heaving and my breathing becoming shallow as my legs collapsed beneath me. I could feel more tears trying to leak out of the corner of my eyes, determined to keep them at bay I looked up and tried to take in my surroundings. But everything was becoming foggy and distant, I reached my hands out trying to hold on to my world and stop it from slipping away. But my hands grasped air and I could feel myself falling forwards into a black empty void.

 

The first thing I remember when I finally regained consciences was how cold I felt. It was as though my ice encased heart had cracked and began to leak onto my skin. More then anything else right now I needed someone to hold me, tell me that this had all been a bad dream. I needed to have my mother fussing over my blankets and my father telling her to let it be. I needed to feel their watchful gaze on my face, and hear my mother singing nursery rhymes to me like she use to when I was scared or sick. As these fresh thoughts tore through my memory like a hurricane in a field I could once again feel the burden of my shattered heart. As I lay there I let the events of the day resurface and I watched them take shape as though in a movie. 

 

                           ………………

 

‘And as we gather here before our dearly departed we pray to God to look after them and take them to his holy gardens in heaven. Debra and Matthew will be deeply missed by their friends and family and especially their daughter Ezmerelda.’

 

I could feel the sorrowful gaze of a hundred people on my face but I would not yield and allow them to look upon me and see the misery that tormented me. I knew they meant well but I didn’t care they could have the best intentions in the world but it wouldn’t bring my parents back, only death itself could conquer such a path.

‘Now in these few brief moments I would like to invite that any who would like to say some words about our dearly departed please come forward.’

 

I could here the rustle of cloth against skin as someone began to rise and step forward. The silence of the room seemed never ending until I heard a familiar voice penetrate it with a sharp brisk tone.

 

‘Debra and Matthew will be missed by us all, They were dutiful parents and a tribute to society. Yet they are now in a better place were…

 

I couldn’t stand it how did she know were they were, how could they be in a better place! I stood up and lifted my steely gaze from the floor and let in cross the faces of the others around me.

 

‘What would you know there is no heaven and there sure as hell is no God! If there was then he wouldn’t have taken my parents away from me!’

 

I could feel hot tears rushing from my eyes and soaring down to the floor, I felt someone reach out and place their arm on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me, but I shrugged it off and ran out of the church.

 

As the scene finished playing I turned on my side and curled into a ball in an attempt to make myself invisible. But the sinking feeling wouldn’t leave me, I sat up and ripped the IV cords from my arm and once again I ran. I could here a nurse screeching behind me. But I kept on running, until the streets became familiar and the houses turned into distant memories. Finally I stopped outside their house, my parents house. They were gone and this house would never ever be mine it would be full of their ghosts and I knew it would haunt me with their memory. Yet it was with this knowledge that I walked towards it, I lifted up the pot plant out the front and let myself in with the spare key. As I opened the door I could here past laughter shatter the silence, feel the warm embrace of my mother and see the mock laughter glisten in my father eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

It's not finished yet it's just a rough idea

Reviews

[vinny]

hi Elise , i just joined the 'writers cafe' + yours is the first writings that i've read . i read 'muirn beatha dan' , which made me think of walking to the garage after midnight , twenty years ago , when you could see every star in the universe ! i think this one 'black rose' could be finished as it is . i like your choice of themes + titles - veritable gaelic . keep writing , you have a very poetic style ! good luck .