Blanket of White

A boys mother dies.

Blanket of White

Ambulance screams across the city

The sirens twirl and swirl

In dizzying patterns of blue and red

The sides stamped with vinyl printing of emergencies

 

Her heart takes a final breath

Her chest stops,

 No longer heaving

Ambulance fails

 

A woman’s body now lies upon a stretcher

Covered in a white sheet

Her shape, a woman loved

Is visible to all

 

The sheet stained with salt

As her life is remembered

In flooding tears

And smiles of the good memories

 

Her little boy tries to wake his Mom

By shaking her shoulders

And calling her name

His eyes weep of innocence

 

He cries and pounds his fists

As he’s restrained

In his attempts to save her

He howls in agony

 

Let her go,

A voice whispers

 

She’ll always live within you,

A finger points to the little boy’s broken heart

Author's Note

Please review.

Reviews

[TheFemininePad]

This is pretty sad Chelsea. I do have a suggestion for an improvement. The line that reads, "Her heart takes a final breath" could possibly read, "Her lungs take a final breath." It just make more sense. A heart can't take a final breath. It's my only suggestion on how to improve upon your writing. I do have an exercise for you to try to help your writing. I would like to see a poem with rhymes that talk about your own religious beliefs, and how they shape your life today. That would make for an interesting poem.

[sentimental~ galore]

wow...actually this is my favorite piece by you. its surreal but also real. i felt trapped while reaidng it, like i wa sout of breath. i could feel the suffering you wrote about in this poem. good stuff...keep it up. =]

[Doreen]

This is so sad.

[JanuaryDreamer♥]

Wow. This poem was amazing! I can really relate with the small boy, my mother died when I was young and I can feel the fresh, deep emotion in this poem. It really is worth more than a few simple words i can only provide in a review, heck, its worth more than a thousand. Keep up the great work Chels!

[Midday_Mystery]

This poem makes me cry... For personal reasons... To be honest chels, I cant review this one objectively sorry

[MandaBear]

the flow was great and I really liked the structure

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

Your story telling ability is fantastic along with your descriptive imagery you really pulled at my heart strings I loved this piece thank you for sharing it

the flow was great and I really liked the structure

100/100 keep them coming

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Dang, that about broke my heart! Well written, descriptive, and razor sharp. I've had a different journey with my mom, but this poem really resonated. Thank you.

[YouoweYoupay]

This was painful. I loved how your story flowed and your use of imagery was beautiful. Good write.

[SpokenWord]

I can imagine that this scared that little boy for life. and those words he will never forget either. This is truly sad but still a good write, one of sorrow and one that no one wishes to experience. Great write.

[Midnight_Mystery]

wow. deep and full of emotion. a very powerful poem. i loved it. great write :)