Blanket of White

A boys mother dies.

Blanket of White

Ambulance screams across the city

The sirens twirl and swirl

In dizzying patterns of blue and red

The sides stamped with vinyl printing of emergencies

 

Her heart takes a final breath

Her chest stops,

 No longer heaving

Ambulance fails

 

A woman’s body now lies upon a stretcher

Covered in a white sheet

Her shape, a woman loved

Is visible to all

 

The sheet stained with salt

As her life is remembered

In flooding tears

And smiles of the good memories

 

Her little boy tries to wake his Mom

By shaking her shoulders

And calling her name

His eyes weep of innocence

 

He cries and pounds his fists

As he’s restrained

In his attempts to save her

He howls in agony

 

Let her go,

A voice whispers

 

She’ll always live within you,

A finger points to the little boy’s broken heart

Author's Note

Please review.

Reviews

[TheFemininePad]

This is pretty sad Chelsea. I do have a suggestion for an improvement. The line that reads, "Her heart takes a final breath" could possibly read, "Her lungs take a final breath." It just make more sense. A heart can't take a final breath. It's my only suggestion on how to improve upon your writing. I do have an exercise for you to try to help your writing. I would like to see a poem with rhymes that talk about your own religious beliefs, and how they shape your life today. That would make for an interesting poem.

[SmittyJas]

Was it the words of Christ to confide the boy who just lost his mother and to remind him she will live in his heart forever because that is what I tell my self when It came time to let my own Mother go home to be with God. We are here for a visit but we be with God Forevermore.

[Warren L.G De Mills]

Good job . you really stirred up emotion here. A powerful dark topic that really strikes though anyone's heart . good choice of topic and good execution. Your writing is improving keep it up ! . Only one complaint. try to use some more adjectives if they fit. they would color this up.

[Ruth]

So emotive, tear inducing! This is a brave and honest write that leaves the reader moved and actually will linger for a few hours of this day! lol
That is a job well done love!
Great poem
xx

[Julie Beth]

aw this is so sad and sweet i loved this poem its my favorite excellent job :D

[Abbie]

why so sad? but good


100/100

[Wake Up!]

well done, a lot of emotion in the end. i love when i can feel it, it just makes the experience of reading your work so much better. tragically beautiful. shrouded in mystery (how did she die? what's the story? etc.) J'adore!

[Zane]

I swear, this made me cry. It was very well written, and I am looking foward to spending my night catching up on your other works.

[CookieMonster♥&h..]

this is sad and good hope to see more of yer writing:)

[Jonathan]

Has alot of good imagery