Show Me

A requested write.

Show Me

Strung along a piece of braided rope

I’m simply one of a million beads

Shining under some male lights

But what light shall be mine?

 

A sea of curvy bodies

All so divine and beautiful

I’m here with my hands clasped in knots

When will I see her?

 

My eyelids are shielded by skin lids

My brain wrapped in his glory

Tonight I pray,

Show me this man, my man.

 

I’m on my knees

See me?

I’m crying out to you

Show me the girl, the girl you’ve chosen.

 

*fingers snap*

*lit paths*

 

 

Author's Note

I was requested to write this by a writer on the cafe, J Michael Simmonds. It's about a man and woman trusting in God to find their husband or wife!
Please review!

Reviews

[TheFemininePad]

I'm alittle confused on some of the wording that you are using in your poem. What does "Shining under some male lights" mean? You might want to clear up that part of the poem. Also a correction to the word "devine" could be changed out with "divine" Those are my only two suggestions. Your meaning in your poem is also kind of lost to me about what you are trying to convey. Maybe it's just me though.

[Just Charles]

I am confused also. Glad I'm not alone. I need clarification.

[OT]

nice!! I like the play on lights - like fireflies almost - the male lights searching - another bead on the rope searching for another! a nice comparison!! the light could also refer to God - well thought out and quite descriptive which is always good in my book!! the only suggestion would be to change eyelids to eyes - as eyelids are skin lids I guess, so a bit tautological! but other than that nice!!

[Tathiana Milla Rodrigue..]

awwwwwwwwww poor you hun, this was very touching, nicely done.

[tynamite]

It took me a while to understand this. It's got really good imagery. I like the ending.

[Rose Masen]

This was amazing, girlie!!! The imagery was flowing through my head so rapidly. I loved it.

[MandaBear]

i really like it. i hope one day they find who they are looking for lol

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. Looking for mate in a club may lead you into the wrong direction. A very interesting poem. I could feel the emotion and hope in the poem. I like the ending to the very good poem.
Coyote

[Michael Davis]

Very good keep on going!

[HopelesslyDevoted]

beautifully written...

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

This is a lovely write and it posseces a very interesting imagry, almost hebraic in form..... Excellent Write