Show Me

A requested write.

Show Me

Strung along a piece of braided rope

I’m simply one of a million beads

Shining under some male lights

But what light shall be mine?

 

A sea of curvy bodies

All so divine and beautiful

I’m here with my hands clasped in knots

When will I see her?

 

My eyelids are shielded by skin lids

My brain wrapped in his glory

Tonight I pray,

Show me this man, my man.

 

I’m on my knees

See me?

I’m crying out to you

Show me the girl, the girl you’ve chosen.

 

*fingers snap*

*lit paths*

 

 

Author's Note

I was requested to write this by a writer on the cafe, J Michael Simmonds. It's about a man and woman trusting in God to find their husband or wife!
Please review!

Reviews

[TheFemininePad]

I'm alittle confused on some of the wording that you are using in your poem. What does "Shining under some male lights" mean? You might want to clear up that part of the poem. Also a correction to the word "devine" could be changed out with "divine" Those are my only two suggestions. Your meaning in your poem is also kind of lost to me about what you are trying to convey. Maybe it's just me though.

[Ashley Myers]

i wish it was this way all the time!!!! great poem

[J.e.s.s.i.c.a]

This is great, very creative.

[GrandDystopia]

I'll admit that when i started reading tis i totally missed the meaning, got it in the end though.
As always a great write, keep up the good work:)

[Madison A. Wright]

good write... just comes off as mysterious to me.. like i want to know more

[Kena]

Excellent that it was written on the terms of what God can do. Also very well written. :)

[Quinn Blackburn]

hmm a challenging topic, and fairly well executed. the yearning for that special bond is quite clear, and the final stanzas clarify the overall theme. I don't know if it ws the title, the theme or both, but this piece actually made me think of the tune Show Me from My Fair Lady (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8zyF0ZOy3k) Love, like our individual spiritual paths, require a lot of faith, but we humans most often want some sort of evidence, some sign to show us we're making the right choices... in love, spiritual path, or any other aspect of life. Great wordcrafting!

[trainwreck]

Pretty cool write. I like your style a lot.

[Poetic Beauty]

this is a good poem but there is plenty of time to find the right person for you. Some find the right one when they are young and some are older.

[J Michael Simmonds]

Wooo! I love this! This is fantastic. So much greater then I could ever imagine or even try to write. I love it so much. It speaks of how my heart is feeling. But it shows the otherside. Giving me the hope that there is someone out there for me too. That was absolutely fantastic. Thanks so very much. You Rock Chels!

[lovejulez03]

I enjoyed reading this. It does bring to the surface the reality of what so many of us go through to find that significant other to complete us. Well written!