Beats of War

These beats of war, command kill.

Beats of War

War pools upon grounds

Streams of red blood

Mountains of bodies and bones

 

Soldiers, line the battle fields

Stamping out a rhythm with their boots

A driving sound, subconsciously, commanding kill

 

Bass picks up

When guns fire and scream

Explosions light this scene of horror

 

This beat

Playing like drugs in their ears

Has them hooked.

Author's Note

I hate war. So I was just writing a bit of a different take on it!

Reviews

[Shardbearer99]

I think that worked expertly well. You captured what the moment of going in to battle must be like to young soldiers. They don't know whether they will live, or die. They just have to keep moving for as long as they can; the adrenaline and the thought of dying, driving them to edge. I loved your description in your first paragraph: "War pools upon grounds
Streams of red blood
Mountains of bodies and bones"
What I liked most of all about this was it pulled the reader in to begin with. It really made the reader imagine what it might be like to be that young officer on the field of battle, dead bodies all around him, limbs blown off, pools of blood everywhere...It must have been horrifying. This was really moving and definitely deserves to be noted as a great poem of imaginative creativitiy. Tremendous writing

[M.Babu]

'Warpools upon grounds, streams of red blood'
This line jumped at me, and i liked your opening. The closing was great too. Overall the poem had great bearing with a nice structure although i didn't understand the second-last line of the poem. Good work

[GrandDystopia]

This was so vivid, i had the bloody images in my head while reading this.
I have to agree war is terrible, we all live on one planet at the end of the day, we as people just have to deal with it.
Great work:)

[Rose Masen]

This is amazing, girlie! It reminded me of my story. It's a great take on it. Kind of like in the heads of the soldiers as they enter into this world- a whole new world.