Beats of War

These beats of war, command kill.

Beats of War

War pools upon grounds

Streams of red blood

Mountains of bodies and bones

 

Soldiers, line the battle fields

Stamping out a rhythm with their boots

A driving sound, subconsciously, commanding kill

 

Bass picks up

When guns fire and scream

Explosions light this scene of horror

 

This beat

Playing like drugs in their ears

Has them hooked.

Author's Note

I hate war. So I was just writing a bit of a different take on it!

Reviews

[Shardbearer99]

I think that worked expertly well. You captured what the moment of going in to battle must be like to young soldiers. They don't know whether they will live, or die. They just have to keep moving for as long as they can; the adrenaline and the thought of dying, driving them to edge. I loved your description in your first paragraph: "War pools upon grounds
Streams of red blood
Mountains of bodies and bones"
What I liked most of all about this was it pulled the reader in to begin with. It really made the reader imagine what it might be like to be that young officer on the field of battle, dead bodies all around him, limbs blown off, pools of blood everywhere...It must have been horrifying. This was really moving and definitely deserves to be noted as a great poem of imaginative creativitiy. Tremendous writing

[Linear]

The pounding of the guns is more than many drums
screams of dying fathers and sons sounds so deafening in tranqualized sleep. I detest war too, there will never be peace at the point of a gun. good poetry

[Ashley Myers]

this is awesome

[akapr17other]

Horrific detail of a battle scene, but beautiful none the less. I enjoyed this even though it's quite depressing.

[hannajade]

This is amazing!! Seriously!
war is dumb. I was talking to this person once who was pro-war. I couldn't beleive it. what i just said was totally off track to the poem but whatever.
reat poem. keep it up and you'll get famous. :D easy 100/100

[J Michael Simmonds]

War is Hell! That is exactly what you're saying here. For some people they have a choice to fight in wars. Others like kids in Africa don't get a choice, they are robbed of their innocence. Either way war destroys life, Mentally and Physically and even spiritually to a certain extent. So the relality is that WAR is most definietly HELL on this earth!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

I don't like war, but I like learning about it- so I know the causes and what not to do to start a war...But, great descriptions!

[TheFemininePad]

Unfortunately war serves a variety of evil purposes. I remember this from being in basic training for the U.S. Navy. They talked of how war functions as a form of population control, and how we protect what is important to us. Violence has always been at the core of human nature, and it's how we stop tyrants from controlling us. War is evil, but is it really necessary? That is a great question to further analyze. Your poem is very good, and helps to further push this very point to your reader. Great job! Happy Valentine's Day!

[Poetic Beauty]

This is described vividly and I don't like war either. I understand why we have them and respect that people who serve but I truly believe that we should try to avoid them.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

i hate war too, its awful. violence never has to be the answer.

[Emilee Grimm]

WOW. WOW.! "This beat playing like drugs in their ears have them hooked"--my favorite part of the poem, and such a wonderful metaphor to convey the power war has over humans. I dislike war also, but I still support the many young people who choose to fight for our freedom. I have known a few people who chose to go into the military, and I wonder about them everyday. War easy to begin, and hard to end. It destroys nearly everything in it's path, and fixes nothing, Well written! You definitely have a way with words! :) (You should listen to the song "Justice and Mercy" by Flyleaf; it gives a similar message!)