Beats of War

These beats of war, command kill.

Beats of War

War pools upon grounds

Streams of red blood

Mountains of bodies and bones

 

Soldiers, line the battle fields

Stamping out a rhythm with their boots

A driving sound, subconsciously, commanding kill

 

Bass picks up

When guns fire and scream

Explosions light this scene of horror

 

This beat

Playing like drugs in their ears

Has them hooked.

Author's Note

I hate war. So I was just writing a bit of a different take on it!

Reviews

[Shardbearer99]

I think that worked expertly well. You captured what the moment of going in to battle must be like to young soldiers. They don't know whether they will live, or die. They just have to keep moving for as long as they can; the adrenaline and the thought of dying, driving them to edge. I loved your description in your first paragraph: "War pools upon grounds
Streams of red blood
Mountains of bodies and bones"
What I liked most of all about this was it pulled the reader in to begin with. It really made the reader imagine what it might be like to be that young officer on the field of battle, dead bodies all around him, limbs blown off, pools of blood everywhere...It must have been horrifying. This was really moving and definitely deserves to be noted as a great poem of imaginative creativitiy. Tremendous writing

[Liza]

war is definitely a hateful playground - i don't know if this was a different take on it....human kind is simple, we fight to love or to hate - fight for those we love - for those we hate...

[Doreen]

War sucks. Nice write.

[Sunflower 20]

i think this poem not only speeks of wars devastation, but also its addiction. which is puts a new light on a very common topic. well done! :)

[Praiser]

As long as you live there aways be a war it should been longer there so much you are saying and you didn't finish, I like anyway

[YouoweYoupay]

I hate war even more. It is just a result of demonic, controlling fear. A very good poem, I loved the last lines, which sound soo true.

This beat
Playing like drugs in their ears
Has them hooked.

[Kat24]

hi,
i do not thinkm anyone likes wars. Still really good. Kat24

[Casey Wolfe]

I'm history buff and studied in great detail WWII and Vietnam, so anything dealing with war always fascinates me. This is no exception. I think it was very well-written with absolutly wonderful imagery. The only line that made me stumble over it, pause, and reread it was the very first. I'm not really sure what it is- it was just a bit off to me in some way. Maybe try playing around with the wording a bit? I find it helps to read poetry aloud to catch anything that might be a hang-up. Wonderful piece!

[trainwreck]

Awesome write yet again! War sucks, but its necessary sometimes.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. I like the pace of the poem. Remind me of the way Mark twain wrote of war. If get the chance. Read Mark Twain "The War Prayer." Very similar to what you wrote written over a 100 years ago. A powerful poem. War does not bring peace. Guns and bombs create new hate. Could use a Bill Clinton or Jimmy Carter today to lead us away from war. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Daydreamer54]

Playing like drugs-drums. I liked the scenery! Great write!