Beats of War

These beats of war, command kill.

Beats of War

War pools upon grounds

Streams of red blood

Mountains of bodies and bones

 

Soldiers, line the battle fields

Stamping out a rhythm with their boots

A driving sound, subconsciously, commanding kill

 

Bass picks up

When guns fire and scream

Explosions light this scene of horror

 

This beat

Playing like drugs in their ears

Has them hooked.

Author's Note

I hate war. So I was just writing a bit of a different take on it!

Reviews

[Shardbearer99]

I think that worked expertly well. You captured what the moment of going in to battle must be like to young soldiers. They don't know whether they will live, or die. They just have to keep moving for as long as they can; the adrenaline and the thought of dying, driving them to edge. I loved your description in your first paragraph: "War pools upon grounds
Streams of red blood
Mountains of bodies and bones"
What I liked most of all about this was it pulled the reader in to begin with. It really made the reader imagine what it might be like to be that young officer on the field of battle, dead bodies all around him, limbs blown off, pools of blood everywhere...It must have been horrifying. This was really moving and definitely deserves to be noted as a great poem of imaginative creativitiy. Tremendous writing

[Thea Fuentebella]

girl i love the metaphors! it's so simple yet powerful! i especially like the last part. thanks for sharing!
100/100

[Zane]

A very good write.

[Midday_Mystery]

this was a very expressive piece and you have done a wonderful job with this... You used some complicated word to flow with, and you pulled it off perfectly... Going in my reading list

[Calypso]

I have never been in a war zone, but I'm sure you captured some of the emotions that goes on. I too hate war.

[Abbie]

this is very good but the blood part just kinda makes me sick cuz i well hate blood

100/1000

[OT]

nice!! some great lines here - lots of aural plays - the beat playing in ears - rhythm of boots - bass picks up - well written!

[Theodore]

I Love it well well written good job, keep up the good work.

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

this was a very expressive piece and you have done a wonderful job with this... You used some complicated word to flow with, and you pulled it off perfectly... Going in my reading list

[Greg Skura]

This is very good! You really have a knack of putting yourself within their shoes when writing. Well Done!