This poem, I have no idea what to make of it. Just being a teenager, I always see the world as the same. All my teenage friends wear the same clothing, hoodies and jeans! That seems to be a uniform. Also it seems to be uniform to be mean. Humanity seems to get off on just pure evil. So I wrote a poem about always marching to the drums of evil. Never stopping and looking around! Also about the effect, it kind of leaves a stamp on you of evil. Or a tattoo kind of thing! Please review! Also I'm trying a new style, using stanzas, so would you mind giving me a bit on what you thought of them? Thanks (:
Thought I'd also mention, not my picture.
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clothed in sin is good trigger title....
the actions to protect seem wrong but when goodness stays silent - terrorism flourishes....america fights for her freedoms; every night we feel safe to go to bed; remember some aren't so lucky....unfortunately our troops have to sacrifice their freedom for ours....protecting our life of sin....
this was really good writing here, i like this a lot. the marching sounds you've added really contribute to the whole atmosphere of the poem, and that's real nice. although i think it's a real debatable topic to whether humans are all scum deep down inside. while many would say yes, we still have many youths who are joining good causes now. that said, this poem really made me think. great work
Very clever title and I agree with you. Humanity has become evil.
Parents abusing children killing them... bullying others on and offline..corrupt government taking money from the people.. sex and politics and money and greed.. all go hand in hand.
I like the format. I mostly write freestyle. Using . 'troop, troop, troop adds to the impact..
"Humanity marches
In rows of single file
Along a path of wrongs
That never seems to be cleansed
Troop, troop, troop"
Troop, troop, troop marching in ther wrong direction.
Wonderful poem of awareness.
This is an amazing piece of work! You have observed well the state of our schools as places to assimilate people, to iron out our unique qualities, to prepare us all to enter the workforce, as if we are slaves. It is time to break away. The title is great! You have created a powerful bit of poetry here.
A great poem that brought up a memory from my past. This reminds me of when I was in the U.S. Navy, and we would do military drill. It just seems perfect with the kind of imagery that you are trying to convey. Your emotions are quite apparent within the poem. I don't see how I would try to improve your poem.
"Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good"
Ecclesiastes 9:18
Your words made me think of this verse. It only takes one big corporation to bring this "Clothed in sin" or "Stamps of Sin" on a whole generation of people creating this "Troop, troop, troop" follower mentality. Thought provoking work any way you interpret it. Oh yes, I also really liked the "SOS" abbreviation in the title-- that's just way cool!
Nice write in the form you have chosen! We must choose to march to a different beat........a beat of love and kindness and not be afraid to be "our own" person!
March on but not as the masses who adhere to principles of "me, myself and I"!
Good write, Great symbolism, and I agree with you entirely The social society of today is evil and it forces evil things upon us.... Pop Culture isn't culture it superficiality... Great write
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
- Carl Sandburg
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My name is Chelsea or Chels. I’m fifteen years old, your .. more..
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