Beneath You

I lay beneath you, buried in the dark. You are above, showered with light.

Beneath You

I lay beneath where you step on

Nothing more than a skeleton

I lay beneath where you step on

Buried far from any chances of light

The ground you step on

Is evidence of life, newborn flowers bloom

The ground you step on

Is showered upon with light

 

 

Author's Note

My first freaky poem! I guess I’ve gone over to the dark side of twisted poets! Anyways I had an idea of a dead person lying in a grave talking to somebody alive!?!? Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Undying Glory]

this was quite creepy work, and i sure like this one! i remember in a camp i attended, there was what they called a "Fright Night" and in one part we had to write our names on a piece of paper and give it to a "corpse". as we were writing the "corpse" started to grab and shake our shoulders. your poem sure reminds me of that, which to me is great! awesome

[Zane]

This was really....interesting! Good and out of your norm, if you dont mind my saying so. :D

[sarah]

Wow amazing work great job with this!

[underwriter]

ohhh a little dark is this one! its goood! your branching out girl! keep at it! i like you rhyme and rhythem! keep expanding your techniques, your improving daily! well done!

[reminder]

Beautiful imagery. Your word choice creates a wonderful expression of life vs death. Well done!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

It's great! You should write more like this!

[Coyote Poetry]

Those people who lay in graves are not talking no more. I went to many graveyards and said goodbyes. I believe we can have conversation in the places where you and your missed love one one celebrated being alive. A interesting poem. Death is the mystery no-one knows the true story. In the end we will understand. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Marie Harrison]

Creepy! Way to set the tone.

[Warren L.G De Mills]

sigh...why did u reveal what it was? lol. Love the idea i might do one like it sometime. I'm bad at guessing so i couldnt figure it out but its not ur fault. It could have come across as spookier if your spiced up the language a bit. that seems to be your only problem as i've read your work so work on it

[E.H. Monroe]

NO HINTS! Christ in kool whip.
WE know you know what the damn thing means, let US roll with it.

I thought it was the flowers OVEr a dead man that gorws eventually when he passes and life takes over the life cycle.

Ohhh you fiend