Shell

Life in a shell, but smashing the shell.

Shell

I enjoy life; within a shell

Shielding me from miseries

Also disabling love, to reach a full extent

I enjoy this; but the time comes

When feelings cross my mind

That I’m not protected; just hidden away

That depression eats me as I stay tucked away

But I take charge,

I smash my shell to pieces

Feeling pain for real; loving for real

I kiss him; loving him for real

I also feel the pain as his lips break the kiss

The shell no longer holds me; I hold myself.

Author's Note

Reviews appreciated. I'd love some advice on how to fix this one up---

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

Oh my God this was a MASTER PIECE. The title itself deserves to be praised. I loved it. You've described a natural, realistic human emotion perfectly. *thumbs up* Keep writing.

-Wella

[Cafe Reader]

Good imagery! Very vivid!

[tynamite]

How do you know it needs fixing up?
It sounds like a poem about someone who wants to stop loving someone, but can't no matter how hard she tries.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Good write on the duality of being protected/overprotected. It's hard to love life within a bubble.

Feels like a good exercise in the play of finding your feet in writing. Keep up the practice and soon you won't need to ask for advice on fixing it up for you'll know when you post if it satisfied your need in the writing. Once that is met the poem will be complete

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Love it! So powerful!

[Marie Harrison]

So sad living disconnected in a shell. Very moving poem. Living in protection, not also not getting enough real love in the process either. Marvelous job.

[Poetic Beauty]

It is better to hold yourself than to shut out all of the good and wonderful things that can come into your life because you are afraid of the pain. Great way of explaining this as breaking a shell.

[hannajade]

Wow. this is like really great, I don't think it needs fixing up..:)
ahh you have such great idea for poems!!:)

[Morgan]

This is very cute! I quite enjoy this VERRRRRY much! You should not need to fix this up! Its very cute and you should not fix writing unless their is an error that changes the whole reason for the poem/story! Thats what I do(: Good luck!

[Goodbye]

This one is a little better still! Keep writing, keep practicing!