Too Much

Chapter 3 of Autumn Falls

Tamera then caught on that I was starting to get upset and she just simply said, “Oh. Okay.” And she turned and started working again.

Not one word between us was said for the rest of the class.

The bell rang and I gathered up my things and headed back out to the hallway to go to my locker. Tamera’s locker was beside mine so she followed me there.

As I stood there fumbling with my lock, Tamera said. “Are you taking French next semester?” 

With all these different questions and scenarios in my head -- the dance, Luke Morreti, Tyler, and everything else -- I can’t really unscramble everything. I’m getting frazzled. 

“I don’t know. It’s a possibility.” I told her, my tone lacked concern.

She opened her locker and grabbed a book. “Oh. Well.” Tamera gave me a weird look. “I best be going. Bye.” She did a about-face and went on to class.

A class that I didn’t have with her. Thankfully. 

Ooh, that was harsh, Sidney.

I think she acknowledged that I really wasn’t up for talking right now. With my grades needing to be higher, and my brain lacking the ability to concentrate....I think I was about to lose my marbles. Or something like that. 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I slammed my locker. Opened my eyes and started towards Geometry. 

My mind wandered again. In places I didn’t want it to. I recited the letter I wrote a few months back, inside my head. Over and over.

I count the days I spend from you. Scattered words I struggled to puzzle together in attempt to make everything alright. You strung me along, using me like a rag doll. You swung me around, patching me up as if you’d make it all better. You did -- for a short while. You pressed your lips to mine, as if you’d make me forget the fights we had.  For every mistake you made, you were sure to make up for it. We lost everything in that moment you said goodbye. I still haven’t recovered. Please come make it alright.      

              I restrained myself from shedding a tear. Gritting my teeth and blinking my eyes, struggling to keep from crying. The wretched feeling in my stomach. Twisting and turning, uncomfortable knots making me feel antsy. I grasped on to what little dignity I had left. 

Having remembered that dumb old letter I wrote, my nervousness level peaked. Suddenly, I felt as I if I was going to collapse. 

I worked my way through the jammed up hallways and into the girls’ bathroom. Pushing other guys out of my way and bustling through the heavy bathroom door. 

This was my only escape that I had. I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t go home. Dad would ask too many questions.

And I stumbled towards the outdated sink. The faint hum of the students chatting and laughing was hushed. My deep breaths seemed to echo in the silent eerie bathroom. The fluorescent lights shined white on me, giving me a ghastly pallor.  

 With a flick of the wrist I dropped my backpack onto the tiled floor and rested my palms on the laminate countertop. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. 

“I can’t.” My words came out jagged and shaky. I listened to make sure nobody was in here with me. “What’s wrong with me? Why today?” My voice bounced off the walls. 

Exasperatedly, I huffed and straightened up -- stopping myself from moping. I twisted on the faucet and ran my hands under the chilling water. In hopes of calming my nerves. 

I crouched down to reach into my bag to get a hair-tie and I gathered my long brown hair into a messy ponytail. The pouring rain had wet my hair and made it curl unflatteringly around my face. 

“Oh well.” I shrugged.

and I leaned down to pick up my backpack and made my way out of the bathroom and through the swarming students. 

With my mind in a scramble again, I started to feel agitated and struggled to distract myself. I craned my neck, unsure of where Jonah or Tamera might be sitting. I don’t think I really want to sit with them -- or anyone today. I might just sit alone and relax. In the cafeteria I looked around for Keri, my other friend. 

I really wasn’t that hungry. I didn’t have much of an appetite. Glanced out the window and the rain was starting to ease up. I grabbed a small sandwich and a bag of chips and went to sit alone near where Luke Moretti sat the other day. Speaking of, I haven’t seen him at all today.

At the corner table I picked at my sandwich as I kept my head down. Avoiding all eye-contact with anyone who might’ve looked at me funny for sitting alone.

A guy chuckled loudly behind me. I didn’t want to turn around to see who it was. Because it might just piss me off. I gritted my teeth and made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat. 

Someone sat down beside me and coughed. “Sidney,” A girl said, “What are you doing sitting here by yourself? I thought you’d be over there with Jonah?” 

 Then I looked over to my right and there sat Keri Carter. Her blond hair pulled up into a cute blue and yellow bow. 

I smiled weakly to greet her and shrugged. “Nah. I didn’t really want to. Not feeling too well today,” I peeked over at her. 

Keri was smiling apologetically. Like she was genuinely concerned about what was wrong.

Author's Note

Please review and tell me what you think. I appreciate it! :)

Reviews

[Melody]

Keep writing it. It's turning out really good. Every story deserves an ending. :)