The Blade

I wrote this poem for the competition on addiction. It is about someone who's addiction is self harm through cutting.

The Blade

Her eyes spoke pain as she held her blade

As she tore her skin her tears were rain

But as she cut she felt pain fade

And clenched her jaw as she cut again

 

The blood it trickled down her arm

Dropped slowly to the floor beneath

This sight it caused her no alarm

Her misery would feel defeat

 

She sat and sobbed her arm red with blood

And torn to shreds yet she felt no pain

Her personal addiction felt so good

free once more but nothing to gain

Author's Note

I'm not usually a poem writer and this is in fact the first one i've written since i was young. I wrote it for the contest on addiction and had an idea for something to write and decided to give it a try. I quite enjoyed writing this and would like some feedback if anyone has a spare second.

Reviews

[Idiotekque]

I feel like the subject you're writing on is far too overused. It's not only a personal aversion to the subject, but also the fact that I see so much of this. It feels to me that you wrote on this topic simply for the sake of writing about it. I don't feel a personal depth behind the words.

That's all in all a good thing. I couldn't wish this kind of thing on anyone. But if I'm not looking at the subject matter and only the writing, it's clean. You rhymed well and it works. I'm not crazy about it, but it works.

Looking forward to seeing more poetry from you.

[Archia]

I think you expressed the emotions in this really well, it was really powerful. And none of the rhyme seems forced at all, really good.