dear friend

please don't tell me
you're okay when
i can tell you're not


and don't say you're
tired
i know that
excuse
i use it
a lot


just don't


thank you



p.s. i love you
that's why i ask
and ask again
i don't do that
to people who
aren't my friends

Reviews

[Kimberly Pflug]

i hate it when that happends..but its shows ur an amazing friend i loved this. i agree with bekah i wasn't expectin it to rhyme but it did and that wassss great love your work you have major talent.

[Rebekah Michaele]

i think the way the rhythm switches contributes to the feeling of the poem.
you dont have everything neatly in line when you're frustrated.
the i love the last stanza. i wasnt expecting it to rhyme, but i'm thrilled that it does.

[Carole]

Frustrating, isn't it when you know something is wrong and the person won't admit it? I love your poem. It is different than anything I have read. How refreshing. I love your beginning:

please don't tell me
you're okay when
i can tell you're not


and don't say you're
tired
i know that
excuse
i use it
a lot


just don't


thank you


Impactful. To the point. Good rhyme. Fantastic job. Thanks for sharing, my friend.

[Ashlon :]]

i really enjoyed reading this.
great job!!

[Caitlin Shapland]

I like this

I hate it when my friends do this to me

but at the same time, i find myself proclaiming to be ok

when I'm not

but how do i describe the tumult inside of me when I can't even describe it to myself

plus

I hate to burden people with my crap

c a i t

you know?

quite the paradox

[Joanna Colby]

i like the idea behind this one, and i like the rhyme through the first two stanzas. it seems to shift after that, and i don't think it's quite as strong.
but i do like this one.

[Caitlin Shapland]

hmmm..

it seemed a little off rhythm to me

the tempo isn't strong, clear cut

but i enjoyed it

c a i t

[Cursorblock]

Very nice. I think the reason we tell eachother we are fine when things are not so fine is either because we don't want to burden our friends or we ourselves don't really know how we feel. I'm guilty of using the tired line a lot myself.