Not Perfect

A Poem by chelie

I sit here waiting

For things to start.

Wondering when my life is

Actually going to start,

Wondering how my life will be,

Wishing I knew

What was to come,

What college i'll attend,

What job i'll have,

Who i will marry,

Just thoughts about the future,

All of them running

Through my head,

Most about college,

Parents on my case,

Always nagging at me,

Teachers are a pain,

All the pressure,

Sometimes I want to

Say f**k it all,

Just want to give up,

Follow the path so many take,

I'm trying to stay me,

Trying to make my own path,

Trying to always follow

The path i set,

But with all the outside

Voices it's hard to see,

To see what I want,

I'm always trying

To make others happy,

Always trying to be perfect,

Sometimes the pressure

Is to much,

I close up

Withdrawn into myself,

Push people away at times,

I don't know know

Why I am the way I am,

I just always feel

That need to be

Perfect at the

Stuff I do,

Then it hurts

And i'm upset

When I fail,

I can't help

But feel like I've failed,

The doubt is always

Going through my mind,

I wonder if it will

Ever just go away,

Sometimes it keeps

Me up at night,

Sometimes I wonder

What is going to happen,

So I sit and wait,

Wait for my life to begin

© 2012 chelie

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I feel EXACTLY the same way. Sometimes I stay up at night just wondering about all those things. I always have a sort of doubt in everything I do and say, its sort of strange really. But I really understand this and I like how much emotion you portrayed with it. Its very clear of your feelings and state of mind.