Sucide

 

Suicide

 

Engulfed by the sinister,

Fighting for the light,

Alone is what I feel,

On this strange, shadowy night

 

I place the saviour against my wrists

And this immerse relief I experience

Is this over? I am unsure

But I no longer recognise my appearance

 

Friends do not identify

Hope has gone astray

Will this loneliness decrease?

But no more will I say!

 

Reviews

[The Wave]

not bad,
your emotions seem to bleed through the words!

overall, written fairly well... you do need a question mark in the line, "is this over? i am unsure." instead of having nothing...it disrupted the flow whilst reading for me...

and i felt the last line in the first stanza seemed a tad unoriginal...you can do much better, I know you can!! :)
i did enjoy reading this and so i'll say
good job

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Quite a shifting climax to a supposedly unending melancholy, anger and inner turmoil.
The ending tells it all.
Keep writing.

Enjoyed the poem,
Punishment

[(:]

Sad. It makes me think of someone who has given.
It makes me feel bad that this happens a lot.
Great write. :]