Does Prince Charming Get Another Chance

A story about myself just want to see if its worth it to keep writing

Have you ever wondered how someone, no matter how briefly they have been in your life, can change it so much. How one text from them can leave you shaking and afraid of what may come next, knowing how it went in the past. How a beep on you phone and a message reading “Hey how have you been?” can make your hands start to tremble and your breathing slow. To understand how we got to this point let’s go back to the past and see how that all played out.

December 2015:

I have never been one of those girls who meeting people on the street was easy for therefor I went towards those god awful dating apps, the one in this particular story happened to be tinder. This app hadn’t really been working for me, what with all the college guys looking for hookups and other people post fake pictures and scamming people. When I saw his picture i thought “Eh, he looks nice and has some nice muscles. It’s probably a scam though.” After a few minutes of internal conflict I swiped right and moved on to the next picture that appeared on my phone. By this point in the semester I already knew I would be leaving and not coming back for spring semester, that I would start online college course at home and not have any debt from college when i graduated. I can thank myself for this because I worked very hard for scholarship money and my scholarship would pay over the amount of tuition, and I would get a very large check each semester for the money it would pay over. Being happy with this I knew that going back to my small 300 population town would mean that I wouldn’t be looking for anything serious anymore because I wouldn’t be around to see where it could go. But one night while procrastinating studying for finals i was looking through my matches on tinder and happened to see that I had a few matches and they were all decent looking so I sent a message saying “Hey haha” to each of them as a conversation starter. Yes my friends, this lame conversation start is where this person, who would eventually change a lot of things in my life began. His response was asking me if I wanted to get a coffee sometime, and of course I looked back at his profile to see if I was still interested. It said he was currently in Seattle, WA and so I said “I don’t know, that’s an awfully long drive for me to just come have coffee.” He then would g on to explain that he was moving back to missoula the following week. I deleted this app a long time ago and I can’t remember his other responses, but I do remember getting a couple more messages and then he gave me his phone number because he said the app didn’t work very well on his phone. So I put it into my phone and started texting him. One thing you should know about me is that I’m not very good at keeping conversations going and that when I do I often talk too much and end up annoying people. It’s my biggest flaw but someone will eventually learn to deal with it. So we start talking about random things, like favorite colors, movies, and other cliche things like that. After two days of this I finally put his number into my contacts and put “Prince Charming” as his contact name. In reality I put his real name but for his privacy I will call him Prince Charming here. Another thing to know about me is that I really don’t like texting all that much, and I really would rather talk to people on the phone. At this point I was really just hoping he was real because this guy sounded way too good and looked way too cute. How would I know if this person really was who they said they were after all. So I did what all millenials do, I turned to snapchat. Real photos of yourself that you cant really fake unless someone is with you and you take a picture of them instead. But thats a lot of work and why would someone go to all that trouble just to trick me. I’m pretty average looking, other than my chest which I was cursed with and will always be large. So yeah I didn’t see why someone would go through all that trouble just to trick me, and once he sent me a couple snapchats I believed him. But these also made me confused. This guy is model quality and ripped and I was positive someone like him could not be interested in me. Again the thought of me leaving soon was what drove me to keep looking and seeing what would happen. I mean what’s the worst that could happen anyways, he sees me and then decides he doesn’t like me or just stops talking to me and then I’m gone either way. So we continue to text and finally he asks me if “I would like to talk with him on the phone sometime.” Inside I was like hell yes but my reply was “Sounds good, how about tonight?” Of course he agreed and I found myself absolutely giddy, which made feel completely stupid because I shouldn’t be this excited to talk to a boy. But there’s nothing you can do to change the past so here’s how the call went. First off, he has an incredible voice that was nice and deep and had my heart doing funny things that it should not have been doing. He was funny and driven and we talked without running out of things to say for at least an hour and a half. One of these things included us adding each other as friends on facebook. The big kicker that came here was the fact that he has a daughter. After I saw he had a daughter my first thought was “oh s**t, he’s married.” So in a nonchalant way I was like “So you have a daughter?” which he calmly replied with “Yeah, is that a problem?” It took me maybe 10 seconds to say “No.” A fun fact about me is that I love children, I even want to be a teacher and have a couple kids of my own someday. But his daughter wasn’t even one yet so there came the issue of her mother. For which he explained that her mother and him were not in any sort of relationship, but were cordial so that he could still see his daughter. We both then talked about kind of what we were looking for dating wise. I was first to say that I was leaving soon and wouldn’t be looking for anything serious. He agreed that he wasn’t looking for anything serious either and that he definitely wasn’t looking for a girlfriend because most of them couldn’t understand why he paid for his baby’s and her mother’s expenses. Which seemed stupid to me because of course he’s going to make sure his child is taken care of, even if that means having to take care of the mother in some ways as well. After being okay with neither of us wanting anything serious we talked about random other things before he had to go for a skype business meeting.

The next morning I woke up and the first thing I thought about was him and how his meeting went, and also that i really needed coffee if I were to try to text and not misspell any words. We ended up texting a little bit more that day and I’m not sure what we talked about the whole time but I do remember him syaing that he was stuck in the mall while getting his car worked on. This is where I brave the impossible folks. In an effort to try and flirt but trying not to seem to into it I said “Well if you’re bored you could always call me and talk to help the time pass by.” Yes, I know it was lame and I sound like some sort of an idiot, but not even a minute later my phone was ringing and his name was on the caller ID. I remember talking about his friends, and how he considers himself a nerd at heart. Which is totally true and we realized we played some of the same video games. A little backstory on this, my dad has played Halo since it came out so we have played together for many years and I’m not just trying to impress some boy by saying I play video games. So we talked about video games for a little bit and I 100% challenged him at halo. We also talked a little bit about his family because he was at the mall and buying Christmas presents, because Christmas was only a couple weeks away at this point. Time flew by and before I knew it it was time for me to leave for class or I would be late. But there was a promise in talking after dinner and I found that i couldn’t stop smiling all through class and when I met my friend for dinner she made me spill the beans. She was worried about me, never had she seen me so excited about a boy but she was excited to help get ready for this imminent date that would be happening in the next few days. It was Friday night and I was definitely not the partying type but more of the watch netflix and drink coffee kind of person. Sitting in my room I couldn’t wait for my phone to ring and see his picture come up on the screen. I didn’t have to wait too long before it was happening and I fund myself taking a deep breath so that I didn’t end up sounding like an idiot. My “hello” came out more dorky than I would have liked but I was hoping he didn’t notice how the butterflies in my stomach were making it hard to hold a coherent thought. Also i felt like an idiot for having butterflies for someone I had never even laid eyes on, and it was at this point I realized how doomed i was. But his answering “hello” was enough to make my insides melt and I could hear the smile in his voice. I will always get a kick out of this conversation and yes I know it’s going to sound cheesy but that’s just how we were. I remeber he said “My friends are mad at you?” and being cmpletely stumped and clueless of course I asked “Why they don’t even know me?”

“Because I told them that I promised a girl I would talk to her on the phone tonight so I couldn’t go out with them. What do you think about that?” I was left stunned and in awe. Who ditches their friends to talk to someone they don’t even know? Collecting my thoughts I knew I needed some sort of answer.

My response was “Well thanks now people I don’t even know are mad at me and it  fault. Why didn’t you go out with your friends though? You’ll get to see me when you get here but won’t be able to see them.” I just couldn’t wrap my head around that situation.

Another thing you need to know about me is that, at this point I’d only had one serious relationship. It was while I was in high school with this guy who would destroy my self confidence by giving my nicknames like “fatty” or telling me things that would bring me and my self esteem down to all time lows. His friends always came first I would pay for absolutely everything. I was also the only one with a job and a car so i would drive us around, pay for gas, and pay for food without a single thank you. As well as friends coming before me 100% of the time.

So him saying that he skipped hanging out with his friends before he leaves just to talk to me left me a little speechless. Again I found myself questioning if he was real or some really intracate finals induced hallucination. That and I could not be feeling this way about someone I’d only been talking to for a matter of days and hadn’t even laid eyes on.

To my response all he siad was “Well I can’t seem to stop thinking about you. Do you think that’s a problem.” I definitely did not think it was a problem at the time, the problem i was having was that my heart was racing.

Trying to get my thoughts together to form a coherent sentence I ended up saying “I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.” And if he couldn’t hear the blush in my voice he was deaf.

Choosing to either ignore it or think it was cute he said “I don’t think think so either. But all day I would see something and I would want to tell you about it or I would just be thinking about you.” Yep by now my face was beat red and I could no longer claim that my breathing was normal.

By the end of our conversation i don’t think i had ever smiled so much in my life. We had been on the phone for hours now and I could feel my eyes starting to droop and feel the sleep trying to take over. Within a few minutes of this I heard start to snore and so i said his name to try to wake him up. When he did wake up he tried to say I was the one that was asleep in barely coherent sentences because he was still half asleep himself. Laughing I told him good night and asked if he wanted to talk at all tomorrow. He said “Of course call me after you wake up.”

After hanging up I remember only being awake for a few minutes while I tried to gather my jumbled thoughts. The only thing that really stuck was him and I just couldn’t get him off of my mind. That, and I knew I was in trouble with this one, and tried to remind myself not to get in too deep because I was leaving.

The next morning I woke up, showered and made coffee before I looked at my phone and tried to decide whether or not it was to early. That and I didn’t want to seem desperate or crazy or any of those other things that self doubt whisper into your mind. Eventually, after cup of coffee number three I gave up and dialed Prince Charming’s number. It rang and went to voicemail. Feeling silly I turned on my xbox started playing Skyrim like a normal procrastinating Saturday.

I was getting really angry at  stupid level where I would die and start all over again so what did I do, I made another cup of coffee and started heading towards a new level when my phone started to buzz. I would like to say that I calmly walked over to the phone, but I’m pretty sure I scrambled over the bed like a fool in an effort to reach it before it went to voicemail.

With a breathless “Good morning.” I tried to compose myself and tried not to say anything stupid.

“Good morning gorgeous.” Was what i heard on the other end of the line and I tried not to choke on the coffee I just tried to swallow.

“How is your morning?” I asked asI started playing the game again, I am fantastic at multitasking by the way. He said it was going good and asked what I was doing, and I was a little embarassed that I wasn’t studying for my finals but instead playing video games. But I told the truth and said “Playing skyrim and ignoring my problems.”

Instead of questioning why I wasn’t studying for finals he said “That sounds great, I’m going to do that too.” So there we were both playing skyrim and talking about dumb quests and where each other was at in the game. There were times one of us would be in a battle and not say anything but a few swear words and whoever won would congratulate the other. This lasted for about six straight hours with neither of us wanting to hang up or stop talking to the other. You would think that this would become awkward or annoying at some point, I would have thought so. But it never became that way and it felt more comfortable playing or watching videos knowing that the other one was on the other end of the line.

At one point I asked him if he thought is was weird that we weren’t talking and just doing other things while on the phone. “Well while I’m playing or watching videos I just imagine that you’re here next to me.” Hi answer was so simple and so sweet I honestly didn’t know what to say and just stayed silent so I wouldn’t ruin the moment with some sarcastic remark or something dumb that might spill out of my mouth.

Eventually one of his friends came over so that they could go to the gym together. Without asking about when he wanted to talk next he said he would call me as soon as he was done. So I actaully did a load of laundry and a little studying before my phone started to ring and Prince Charming’s name was on the caller ID.

“Miss me?” I asked trying to be all cool and flirty, but not embarrassed this time. I found myself becoming way too comfortable around him. I was able to be my goofy, nerdy self and he wouldn’t judge me or think I’m weird and wouldn’t stop talking to me because I’m not like an average girl.

“Yes.” Was his simple response but rather than say anything else I just asked how the gym was. He said good and tried to explain to me all these different things about bodybuilding and stuff that he does. I listened the best I could and asked questions when I thought I understood what he was talking about. We ended up talking for an hour while he drove to a tanning salon and finally I asked if he was ever gonna reach it. “Well, I’ve been here for like 20 minutes I just didn’t want to get off the phone.”

“Dork, they’re going to close you better get in there.” So we hung up and once he made it home he again called me and we talked for  while and this time it was mostly about him being able to come back to Missoula, which he considered to be home.

He said he was excited but that as excited he was to be home that he “feels like he’s coming home” to me. The next day he would be moving so he said he wouldn’t have a lot of time to talk. I had a final anyways so i wouldn’t be able to talk much either. We got off the phone, after talking for 12 hours that day on the phone, so we both could get some sleep.

When i woke up the next morning I found this new energy inside of me, just knowing he was on his way home made me want to run laps, which is something I would never do in a million years. I texted him good morning and that I was really excited to see him the following day and if he had any time to talk today to just give me a call and i would make some time to talk.

He said he was busy so far that morning and probably wouldn’t find time for a while. So I sent an okay and said that I was really excited he was coming home, and then pulled out my textbook to study up on my pre-calc class. Not even two minutes later my phone was buzzing.

“I thought you couldn’t talk for a while?” was how I answered confused by the conflicting message and action.

“Just wanted to hear your voice this morning.” Was his response and explaining about his stressful morning so far and saying how excited we were to see each other before we hung up. I study solidly, with random thoughts about him slipping through here and there, for about five hours before he texted me that he had left and was heading towards Missoula now. I didn’t end up replying for a while because I was in fully study now. I texted him that I was going into my final and wouldn’t be able to talk and would text him as soon as I was done.

My final went terribly and I felt like I didn’t do well and just wanted coffee and to go to bed, but I texted him saying “Well failed that.” I hadn’t made it halfway across campus before my phone little up and there he was again. We talked about my stupid final and then about where he was at in his travels home he still had like 6 hours to go. I told him to call me when he was crossing into Montana no matter how late it was. He got to Missoula at about 2 a.m. He also ended up unloading the whole trailer that night so that he wouldn’t have to leave and take it back during our date.

I know all of this is a boring love story so far but if you can just stick with me through this next gushy part, and then the fighting then we will get back to present day I promise. You just have to understand Prince Charming and how this all started before you can decide for yourself if he deserves another chance.

December 16th 2015 The Date

That morning I woke up, showered and put on mascara and tried on about a million outfits trying to decide what I should wear. By the way I’m not good at makeup so mascara was all I could do at the time. I went to breakfast with my friend again and gushed and gushed about how nervous I was. I couldn’t even eat, and I love food, I was so nervous at the time. My stomach was so full of butterflies I could hardly drink one cup of coffee, and by now I’d usually had three.  

The coffee shop we were meeting at was right across the street from my friends dorm, she could see me from her dorm room in case this was a scam and I was getting kidnapped or something along those line. I waited outside because I was way to nervous to sit down. Then I get a text that says “Are you wearing a pink shirt and have a green purse?” So I said yes and asked if he was there. To which I got the sarcastic reply of “No I don’t see you.” and then a “Yes I’m inside.” My hands were shaking and the butterflies were beating the insides of my stomach so badly i thought about turning around and running all the way back to my dorm. But instead I opened the door and stepped inside.

I know I am exaggerating but it felt like time stopped in that moment that our eyes met and he smiled. I swear to god my heart stopped for a second and then started up again and started to race. His smile was enough to take my breath away and it’s amazing that my feet were able to carry me over to the table at all.

In my head all I could think was “Good God do not screw this up Ashley or you will hate yourself forever.” He was talking on his bluetooth and quickly said good bye as I reached the table. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling like an idiot and felt my heart start beating faster as he stood up and moved towards me.

But once he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug it just felt so right and I’m sure we stood there like that longer than was normal, but I really couldn’t give a crap what other people were thinking at that time becuase I was having a hard enought time gathering my own thoughts.

After our embrace he took my hand and sat down and just continued to stare and smile until I said “What?” I was worried I had something in my teeth or something weird on my face and had to look away from his gaze.

Finally he said “I’ve just never met a girl who’s prettier in person than in all her pictures. And you just have the best smile.” My face probably turned as red as tomato at that point and i couldn’t even meet his gaze for fear of it becoming worse. So I just fixed my stare at our hands entwined on the table while his thumb was rubbing soothing circles into the back of my hand.

When I looked up again he was still staring and I just shook my head and continued searching for my thoughts that I’d somehow left outside. Luckily he was able to take the conversation over easily and asked me if I wanted coffee, which I said no to because the butterflies were enough to fill me up, but he didn’t need to know that. We then started driving around in his car and going all these places. We started at a small dine where I tried to eat as much as I could but the butterflies were becoming an ever present sensation that I just couldn’t kick.

So we talked about things like my hometown and how it feels to be home. The whole time I don’t think his eyes ever left my face, except for when the food came or course. I don’t think anything could come between Prince Charming and his food. Next stop on our adventure was the mall of course because there’s really not that many places to go in the middle of December. Being the nerds that we both are we went to GameStop where he proceeded to buy me a video game that I apparently “HAD” to try.

Then back to my dorm room to watch movies, or at least that was the plan. I think instead of watching the movie we mostly just stared into each others eyes and had our first kiss. Man what a first kiss it was. I felt like this really could be prince charming, but again I was leaving and I shouldn’t feel that way about a guy I’m going to have to turn around and leave. We stayed there like that for a couple hours before he headed back to see his parents for dinner, but with a promise to come back and stay the night.

Reviews

[Tania J]

I really enjoyed this! You should definitely finish it! I'm not an expert or anything, but I think you're a good writer and now I'm into the story and want to know what happens! I love relationship stories! :) I also think you should write one about the crappy highschool boyfriend that you mentioned. I like stories about bad relationships as well because I can relate to them. That's my advice! The suspense is killing me!

[AUU]

In your message to me you said this is rough draft, and I can see the roughness. Did you want help editing? I can do that, but some of the mistakes you made can be easily corrected by your own eyes: forgetting letters on some words, not capitalizing some "i's."

It sounds as though you want feedback if the story is worth sharing.

Your hook---"there's this perfect guy, but something happened. Should I give him another chance?"---is at its core interesting. I'm curious to see what you and the guy fought about after hitting it off so well. It's also a story people can easily relate to because the ecstasy of new love happens to everyone. Hell, the long phone conversations, and one person falling asleep, match one of my own experiences almost perfectly (no...I'm not your charming).

That said. Are you writing to ask for advice? To share a story? Become a better writer? Do you want to be published? These are important questions that will help reviewers help you with your story.

Everyone wants someone to listen/read their stories. It's fulfilling to know there are others out there that find your personal exploits, or works of fiction, worthy of praise. There's always something to be gained with writing, if you seriously want to be a writer, even if the story doesn't catch fire, and you have a million adoring fans overnight. We learn from our mistakes...right?

My problem with this story is its biggest draw. I know where it's going. There's an argument, and you two separate, and the guy wants a second chance. Even though it happened to you in real life, it's a well known trope that may not entirely be suitable for something more other than a blog post if the conflict (you two splitting), is enticing enough...or written well enough to be enticing. Does that make sense?

But hey. I'm just one guy. Just because I'm not overly enthused about reading a story about your love life, doesn't mean others won't be (please don't take this as a personal insult, we've all written about ourselves). With good writing, comes experience. I'm sure if you end up writing another story, your fling with this guy will influence some scenes/conflict/characters in the your story.

If you are serious about becoming a writer, I'd crank out this piece, hone the craft, learn what you need to learn and start on something fresh. If your looking for readers to sympathize about your love life, then maybe start a blog.

Good luck! :)