Prologue

Chase Kopsch

 

 

 

 

 

                       The Renegades

 

                        I woke up this morning with police sirens racing up my street. I opened my eyes and looked u at the ceiling fan. The lights were on. I got out of bed and took a cold shower. Cold showers are refreshing and wake me up in the early hours of the day. The news is the only thing on in the morning so I just turn the TV to channel 6. Today, they had a camel in the studio for hump day. It popped its head in during the weather report. I thought that was a little funny.

            By this time, I drive to school in my Toyota Helix and put on some good opera music to ease the mood. I like opera. The voices and emotion just flow through my body and it really takes the edge off sometimes. My favorite operas are Don Giovanni and the Marriage of Figaro. Anyway, I usually park behind the ice cream parlor where I work because it’s just a few blocks away from my school and it’s an easy walk up the hill.

            Nautilus High School is a pretty nice place and all, but there’s a lot of crime around here. It’s not all that horrible, but sometimes it gets really bad. I know the police around here try, but they never seem to get enough evidence and sometimes they just have bad luck. The crooks and drug dealers here are very sneaky and know how to cover their tracks. So let’s just say sometimes I give the police a “helping hand.” They don’t know who I am, but they know who the Red Falcon is. They spend most of their time trying to catch me. Even though I help them, but I guess beating drug dealers senseless and blowing up their cars full of drugs is “illegal.” I came up with the name Red Falcon because it sounds awesome and the falcon is an amazing bird of prey. Falcons are also some of the fastest birds in the world so I use my red motorcycle hidden in my garage that can top 200 miles per hour when I’m on the run.

            All I want to do is help people and help the world develop into a better place for us. Throughout my childhood, I’ve become smart enough to see through the lies behind the illusions of life. I am street smart and I’m not an idiot. I’m also very good at tracking targets down. Like a falcon.

There is only one person in the world that knows who I am. That person happens to be Officer Shrader, the school cop. He cares for me. I know he really does. Maybe he sees himself in me or I remind him of something that he loves. He breaks up fights at school and he protects kids like my friends and I. He’s a good man and he definitely deserves the best.

You’re probably wondering how I became the person I am today or what the purpose of the Red Falcon is. It took a lot of training and I had to get a job at the ice cream parlor to help pay for most of my gear. The motorcycle was my foster father’s bike. I also I have a small gun that I only use for emergencies, I have a red bullet-proof vest, a tazer, and I am very skilled hand-to-hand combat. The rest of the gear wasn’t cheap.

I first got the idea when I walked into my neighborhood comic book store by the movie theater. God, that feeling of walking into that store, feeling the breeze, and that smell. I can’t explain the smell. It’s one of my favorite things in the world though. That smell. It was a Wednesday (new comic book day) so I went to the new releases shelf to pick up Mighty Avenger #3 and Batman #25. It was a very quiet day. I looked up to my left and saw a poster with a man in a cape that said, “You don’t have to be super.” After I saw that poster, I thought about it all freaking day.

At first I thought, maybe I could help the homeless or raise money for orphans in Mexico. So I ended up doing that kind of stuff for a couple months and I didn’t feel like I was making a difference. It was just job after job. I wanted to do something that would make me recognized and acknowledged.  Then one day I sat in my room and thought about that poster again. It was just a picture of a man in a cape standing there. He was just a normal guy. Like me. I can be that man. I want to be that man. That was when I thought clearing the streets of criminals and all the drug dealers would make this city a better place. To punish the criminals and crooks that deserve it because they have taken and crushed the lives of innocent people including me that don’t deserve it. Well… I cant say I’m all that innocent now.

My name is Alfredo Gordon, and I am not a hero, nor am I a villain… I am the Red Falcon. 

Reviews

[RazzySkittles]

Heya Chase :)
You've got some pretty awesome stuff in here. :) I really like how you tied the main character's inspiration for being a super hero to comic books (Especailly since I am a comic book geek myself :) ) I also like how he is just an average guy who loves to help people. It makes him a character that is easy to relate to. There are a few things I would like to recommend though, It sounds like he is a teen. I feel the character build up is great, however, the prologue tells me too much info from the readers point of view. (The writer should always have a wealth of information about the story and it's characters, and then choose what to let the readers know, and what not to let your readers know.) This is just my personal opinion. Other people may view it differently than me. In my opinion, the prologue is the small tidbit before the actual story starts that pulls the reader in. Which means, the prologue builds up suspense, and makes the reader wonder and ask questions about the plot (Questions that will be answered later in the novel). The first chapter is usually the introductory chapter for the character, where you really get to know his likes, his dislikes, his routine every day life. Giving the reader a wealth of information about the character in the start of the story is some times a good thing, and some times not. Some times it kills the interest in the reader because there is nothing for the reader to think about, because they've been told everything in the beginning. Suspense in a story can be a great ally when writing. The story still has wonderful content, in my personal opinion though, I feel that the prologue should set me up to ask questions that aren't answered until later into the book. What I recommend is that you move some of this awesome info about your character into your first chapter, and then add more suspense (Especailly to the beginning of the prologue, and the end. So that when the readers starts reading the prologue, they are compelled to continue reading, and then when they finish reading, they are compelled to read the first chapter.) I like how the beginning starts though where he's waking up and takes a cold shower, it helps the reader to understand what a typical day is like for the main Character (A.K.A The Red Falcon.) I feel that your writing has good direction, you just need to be careful about the amount of info you give your readers, and make sure to give them some juicy suspense to keep them on the edge of their seat. The more on the edge of the seat they are at the ending of the prologue/chapter, the more likely they are going to rush to the next chapter to see what happens. Just food for thought. :) That's just what I recommend. :) But each to his or her own preference, style, and story right? :)

[Chase Kopsch]

Thank you for this AWESOME review!

[A. Amos]

Enjoyed the concept and will be back to read more...