The Blonde Girl

A magnificently beautiful story ... Some might say that it was sad to read, and did not have a happy ending ... But I say, this story is perfect in that perfect timing of two people meeting, clueless that they would ever meet, who needed someone special in their lives at that precise moment in time. She gave you something no one else ever could have, and you gave her more than you will ever know, even though you do know ... This story is tender and touching to the very core of any heart that has ever had a first crush or first love, especially someone as special as I see that she was to you ... And you to her ... A wonderful memorial to her memory in keeping her memory alive ... Thank you for sharing ... Very well written ...

Posted 10 Years Ago

I thought that I'd be a grammar prick like I always am, but then I read this line. "I Kiss her on the lips so long that when we parted, the sun was setting." Then I knew... tears were inevitable. Chase, "my heart broke into a million pieces."

I like how simply it was written. Kept the tone innocent and let's say... immature. Great Job!

Posted 9 Years Ago

Besides a few grammatical errors, this is very well written. The biggest issue though is that at the beginning of the story I thought he was a teenager. You might want to make his young age more apparent from the start. I also don't think the nurse would have puffy eyes because they're used to seeing death. Oh, and the part about the first kiss doesn't quite fit
It's a touching story

Posted 9 Years Ago

I enjoyed reading this story. It shows a lot of potential and has good flow. It's amazing how much someone can mean to you even though you can only spend such a short time together.

Posted 9 Years Ago

It was very good! Besides a few typos I loved it! Tear jerkingly beautiful. Looks like I'm you're newest fan!

Posted 9 Years Ago

Heartbreaking story. Its a very good framework for something bigger if you chose to continue and expand it. As you grow with your writing it'll gain more feeling, a little more polish with the wording of things. But all in all this is a great piece. Don't ever stop writing and reading.

Posted 9 Years Ago

This is a sad story but could be written better. My only suggestion is to study writing.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I really loved this, very good and I'm glad that I read it, thank you for asking me to read it, I feel so many emotions, happiness, sadness and even the feeling of satisfaction. In the end all was very beautiful and I'm also sorry to hear about the blond girl. Please continue to write such amazing things, I look forward to your next writing.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Aww there's a character with my name :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

It's interesting to say the least.

Posted 9 Years Ago

It's good. You should keep writing and developing a greater vocabulary, also, a grasp on how to possibly change things up. Good job.

Posted 9 Years Ago