The Blonde Girl

A magnificently beautiful story ... Some might say that it was sad to read, and did not have a happy ending ... But I say, this story is perfect in that perfect timing of two people meeting, clueless that they would ever meet, who needed someone special in their lives at that precise moment in time. She gave you something no one else ever could have, and you gave her more than you will ever know, even though you do know ... This story is tender and touching to the very core of any heart that has ever had a first crush or first love, especially someone as special as I see that she was to you ... And you to her ... A wonderful memorial to her memory in keeping her memory alive ... Thank you for sharing ... Very well written ...

Posted 10 Years Ago

I am crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago

Awwww! This story wrenched my heart! I almost cried. My father had brain cancer (a glioblastoma) and survived for two years after diagnosis. This story really touched me, so thank you very much. You have no idea how much this means to me even though you didn't write it for me/about me. It really speaks to me.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Wow I'm sorry I really enjoyed reading this , made me keep wanting to read really emotional .

Posted 10 Years Ago

I enjoyed reading it, have you ever thought about continuing it? Nice work, keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago

Wow this is really deep, I can't described how touch I feel and the story is very very deteald and I really like hearing this story. I can just say Wow, really wow.
A grat story, really and the ending was tragic. I'm sorry.
Great story! this really went to my heart

Posted 10 Years Ago

You have a great deal of emotion bottled up in this story. I believe Short short stories are a good medium to refine the emotional impact, the colour and "pop" of a story. The central character is developed and the is shown well. The use of "Twitch" is excellent. It touches on three scenes; sound, sight and emotion; it evokes the condition that draws the attention of a childhood bully to it's victim.
The old advice, "Show don't tell" applies to all stories but to short stories in particular. " And he let go of me and I fell onto floor hitting my bum really hard." This sentence could be stronger without the adverb. "....really hard." is subjective and it takes the reader away from the event and emotion (physical and physiological in this case) to a simple relaying of information devoid of the emotion that the reader should be feeling here. For a child to be physically picked up then allowed to fall is physical abuse. The reader could be taken to a place of horror or tears, anger, etc in this line.
Thank you for posting this.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Aww, this... Perhaps she was reclaimed because she was such a good person. Sometimes the best things in life are bittersweet, and one needs to treasure them while they last. I guess I'm at a loss for words, really. But the piece itself is written beautifully.

Now, I'm not a firm believer in fate, but I have noticed that everything in this lifetime seems to happen for a reason. All these circles life takes us up upon, they all come back around somewhere. One rock dropped in a pond, see all the ripples. I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this. I had a point, but it escaped my mind. Maybe she's the rock, the beginning.

I'm so sorry about your friend. She must've been really great.

Posted 10 Years Ago

This is so nice! I am so sorry about your friend, I know how it feels to lose someone you love dearly...
Keep up the good work!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago