Immortality

your lip quivers as i move forward

your pulse races as my skin brushes your face

i inhale deeply drowning in your scent

your breath catches as i pull you closer

i know you are scared i see it in your eyes

your mind races you know you're about to die

but

you close your eyes and a smile dances

across your features

you whisper to me

bring me to life.

i move to your neck my teeth i dragged

across your milky skin

you say i love you

as my teeth sink in

 

Reviews

[..R.I.P..]

Reminds me of a series I'm reading right now and Twilight. And you know I loved it.

[Penny Dreadful]

reminds me of twilight. I like it

=]

xxx

[Dara[DRAMATIC]]

Darkness and light somehow wrapped together. I like it very much so and don't see much to change except that grammatical errors should be fixed to help the reader understand a little better. In a way, it seems slightly vampiric to me, but that's only my personal perspective. This is one that I would definitely consider getting published. Great work! Keep it up. :]

[Fidheallir]

I like how you capture the duality of romance and sexual attraction-- the tenderness and the aggression. Nice use of sensory details.

[PennyLane02]

I love this poem...its darkly romantic and beautiful...my favvy!

[fallendemonofmercy]

i love this picture - dark, compelling, just kissing love's passion with dangers of death and falling so far....

[Legion]

Dark and decadent. I like it. A Passion for Perfection indeed. Kudos.