artifice

about a barn that leaned a certain way

the spectacle of trees in a wood

grown true and sure...they taller stood:

and shadow now the barn house,

    leaning

for roots once good and ever greening

 

 

the frail barn, turned skew-eyed brown;

it’s palings warped and dangling down

in shadow ...

    the weak barn now leans

toward those things it once had been

 

 

dank, the dirt pulls on the wood:

unhinged it hangs; it sighs;

it bangs as if it could

defy the pit made Just for it -

    like blackened boots...and sure to fit

 

 

its bats have flown; the mice moved out

and but a flimsy ghost there shouts

bent and buckled, crippled in meaning

the derelict barn  -  already fallen:

    ...without one Upright intervening

Author's Note

I wrote this last year: it started out about an old barn and may have ended up as an allegorical fable. But I like old barns - I have three of them on my place. Though the barn in this story...leaned the wrong way, I suppose

Reviews

[Cherrie]

We have a tendency to always want things brand new, but nothing has more character than an old barn. It fills me with wonder of times past.

I liked the persona you have given this old barn with it missing the feel of new.

[charlie]

I appreciate you taking the time, Cherrie.

[Cherrie]

It was a great read and I enjoyed it very much

[Lori Brown Boniciolli]

Vivid dark imagery - I can see the barn. Nicely written; good word choices.

Sincerely

Lori Brown Boniciolli

[charlie]

Hi Lori. I appreciate the time taken.

[Lori Brown Boniciolli]

Hi Charlie. You are a seasoned writer, and I am not. I do not know the language of poetry critiquing. I just know what I like! Be well. Lori

[charlie]

That makes two of us! :) Thanks again, Lori

[Lori Brown Boniciolli]

Very welcome!

Lori

[Miss Sharon]

Awesome write Charlie! Your "word paintings" are always vivid and captivating. You are a wordsmith of many varied talents and I always enjoy reading your work. ~Sharon

[charlie]

Hi Sharon. Thank you for saying so. I appreciate that.

[Miss Sharon]

You are so welcome my friend! I never say things do not mean from my heart. ~Sharon

[Matching Socks]

This is such a charming poem Charlie. You gave new life to an old dying barn.
It's true that there's so much beauty in those 'old' things.

[Matching Socks]

Oh, I also meant to ask... What is GMO?

[charlie]

Thanks for reading, ana. I am grateful for your time. GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organism, and it is entering our food production...

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

Really a good reflection both on an old leaning barn itself and perhaps, too, as a life leaning toward its end. Whenever I ride as a passenger, I enjoy studying old barns. More and more are neglected these days and I've watched some totally fall as a result of one final strong wind. It's great that your fascination with old barns fueled this wonderful poem. Enjoyed! Sharon

[charlie]

Thanks for your visit, Sharon. I'm somewhat a bit of a barn chaser, myself. My wife and I recycle what wood is worthwhile and refashion it into something new. Extremely rewarding :)

[...]

This is excellent poetry, Charlie! Actually brought a tear to my eye...

[charlie]

Thanks for saying so, lynn. I appreciate your time :)

[V]

I really like the flow, the rhythm of it. Your word choice reads also delicate. Poems like this which create a scenery sort of dark but somehow calm and soothing at the same time are rare and highly regarded by me. A write that takes one's mind on a journey. Great.

[charlie]

I appreciate you taking the time, Vanessa

[V]

Sure I did. You're welcome.

[andrew mitchell]

I like barns, old falling down, reminds me of Barn owls as i do like old homesteads dilapidated. Of course old tombstones have character too, black monoliths leaning over , moss covered. A nice entertaining write

[charlie]

Thanks for your time, Andrew

[andrew mitchell]

my pleasure!:)

[Qualia]

I like that you used the word derelict. All of the sudden once I read that word the barn had a character to give it life.

[charlie]

Thank you for reading, Q