Farmer Come Fisherman

dissolving some parameters in structure and syntax, because sometimes the environment takes over

                      so much the water

rise up and up

the whole night through

   it doesn’t stop

it doesn’t stop today     at all

so much the water fall

 

 

come down    on down

the whole farm through

   those puddles bog

the water blocks the gates    the road

how long the rain-pour go

 

 

call fencin’ off

the plough a moil:

   will have to wait

for three tomorrows          maybe more

so much the water fall

 

sorry sheep what      they got

flamin’ foot rot

   all the way

tender     sore     poor

   them buggers     droppin’ lambs in mud

how far the rain-pour go

 

 

come down     on down

the ol’ shed’s sunk

               a meter into clay

the fish push in

   where hens go lay

so much the water

rise up

Author's Note

a sea change is not all it's cracked up to be

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like how you use the words. They are alive and create good vision and thoughts. I like the drive and flow of thoughts leading to the good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Wandering Minstrel]

An enormous write! This is just outstanding. The analogy used in this writing is great. It really lifts the reader to a level and brings them back down, possibly gently or with a lighter balance. Greatness written here!

[Tree]

I thought the structure was perfect. Sometimes the poem as it is born dictates the form in which it is to be expressed, or just outright demands it. Much like the rising of the water it seeks crevices and carves out open spaces, all the better for an expression to grow or "like a fish", live in. I also liked how you returned to: "so much the water/ rise up", in the ending. Again, the poem dictated that the reader have this again, and it felt very natural. This reader wanted that, wanted to hear it again.
I've used this broken structure across the page before in more than a few poems, and as I'm contemplating the deeper reasons why I did so, it was because quite simply, that is how I heard the words spoken in my mind/ heart. And would not be right if the words on the page did not reflect that, accurately.
I believe that is what happened here.

Excellent work, Charlie.

[charlie]

Yeah, to an extent it did. I was also trying to lend to the idea that there is so much water and rain and run off that some of those structural norms (like punctuation) just got swept away in the wash! the foundations of grammar might have even been undermined aswell, or rather, about to be...
Thanks for your time, Diego. Appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I related to this in a different way...here in southern Illinois, flooding is such a problem...and often the crops get waylaid...farmers do become fisherman...trying to fish out what is savable...and the timetable is so messed up...It is like waiting all day for a bite, and then the fish start biting just as it's time to go home.
nicely expressed, Charlie...

[charlie]

That's not such a different way, jacob. Not different from the way I perceived it to be, anyhow. Fishing for the salvageable is exactly what I had in mind when writing this. No deep psychology disguised by metaphor here. :) It's straight down the line and true to life. Thanks to you, for your review.