irish moss

The night air slides in again

full pike and plumb on

the slope. Moorhens screech

in joy, deranged

as demons noosed in rope.

“Go, stretch the rope” at first

the thought protrudes and airs

the sod, but standing on a shoddy spade

he catches on the thought:

and then he lets it go…

He lets it go and stoops to cough:

his ribs they jump, his lungs

expound upon a wasted grace,

and all the more the moorhens

sound against his face.

While from afar through sedge,

through mud, and on the icy twilight

wades one with whom had born his child

three days ago this night.

Though she had breathed her last

back then, her eyes they did not close:

he pressed them down by trembling hand

and locked them with a rose…

 

His ribs they jump, his tears

roll down in spit and sorrow mad.

The night air slides in again

dissolving all the ironclad refineries

of what they’d hoped;

and also, what they had…

He lays the infant low,

just three days past its birth,

and - fever pitch - he damns the stars

and swears a curse into the belly

of the earth and

out into the moorhens’ lea.

     ... ‘til I,

     his neighbour, came to find him

     twisting in a tree.

Reviews

[Corset]

This is such a wonderful poem, the timing seems off just a bit in some places (I have trouble with this too)
would suggest -"he damns the stars and the Earth and into it's belly swears a curse" cause that's where I kind of tripped up, and this poem is so incredibly imaginative it just seems to grip one's sense of the morose and shakes like a pit bull.

of interest to me only:
111 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on June 22, 2014
Last Updated on June 22, 2014

[charlie]

Thanks for your suggestion, C. I like the sound of it and will take it on board. Much appreciated.

[Corset]

I'm always unsure if I can make a suggestion without offending, and I hope I didn't because I really believe this to be upper scale endeavor and would enjoy reading more of your work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

relic led me to your page...wow, i am so glad he did...

these words jump off the page and clutch my throat.
exceptional writing...and yes, the imagery gets us lost in the words.

[Chris]

Anything I could say would just seem small and trite... except - Thank You, may I please have another?

[Lyn Anderson]

Wow, wow, wow. So glad I picked this up in the feed. What an amazing write. Instantly in the favourites, for goosebumps, chills, and all that is good -- to dissect it is to spoil the impact for others.

[Relic]

This is incredible writing. The style of your dialog is top-notch and the shocking ending sends a chill through my bones. You've demonstrated a style that is impressive and memorable. This goes into my favorites immediately. Excellent writing.