Sandcastles In Autumn

Sandcastles fashioned in
Autumn’s warm sunshine.
Noon’s tide is turning, the
Day is moving on.
Castles wash away just
As dreams once held dear,
Silently letting life’s
Tide have it’s way.
Leaves of many colors
Escape the autumn branches
Settling on the half castle at the tide’s edge.

In it ebbs, out it flows.
No evidence of the journey at day’s end.

A grain of sand at a time,
Undone before my eyes,
Tumbling, crumbling and slipping away.
Under my watchful eye,
My dreams are sand washing into the deep and I am
Nearing the autumn of life.

Sandcastles in autumn... temporal and telling a tale of time’s fragile passage.
I will build again, a grand design with a deeper moat but at day’s end, it will be but a memory as well.  Such is the current of life. 

Reviews

[Rain]

I have went on a reading rampage of your writing. It has been a journey of insight and profound writing. No computer can rate the soul. You have depth of soul, and a way of saying your feelings in way that is unique. I love your style of writing. Rain..

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

this was interesting but i loved the sandcastles in autumn. wonderfully written, intriguing peice.


Great write.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Simply amazing. I love the analogy of sandcastles in autumn - waiting for the winter storm season, no doubt. Ashes to ashes...

Thanks for suggesting this. I would write more about it, but I am working. Great write!

-Gabe

[Ailee Way]

Wow i love this-- you really kept with the metaphor through the entire piece. it says so much about life. i loved the line about "nearing the autumn of life," that was heavy. It seems so nostalgic and kind of sad, but, it's also somewhat matter-of-fact. really good write.

[Michael X]

i love the perspective that you apply metaphorically, expressing
the essential nature of balance, in meaning, purely spiritual
descriptiveness, combining heart and reality, creating a symbol
of belief, faith and outlook, the days end, and what applies to
move forward with progressive development, the stealth imagery
you employ is touching, scribed as sentimental pondering, you
did a really beautiful job, expertly penned, thank you, mike

[Steven Szepietowski]

Beautiful, and very poignant words towards the end. You have good poetric instincts, for rhythm, and for metaphor. And this metaphor you have nailed down cleanly, each aspect of the image, from sand, to water, to teh season is all accounted for. And i like the sandcastles in autumn, as opposed to summer, gives it a bit of the unusual.

[Emily B]

I really liked the metaphor that flows through the poem and solidifies the thought. Beautiful write.

[TheNewerLisa]

Oh boy, this one is going to make me cry, I so relate to this, "No evidence of the journey at day's end," very powerful!

[TL Boehm]

you know - the more I read this the more the metaphor grows on me - morphing into a mantra - feeding off my clumsy attempts to ever build a sand castle....
it is resonant - the way life pulls - the steady tide churns - taking us out by degrees.
a great write Chiquita. Very appropriate.

[Fran Marie]

A most beautiful flowing poem, filled with vivid imagery so nicely expressed~Quite lovely Indeed!~Fran Marie~