Living Love

 

Love and Life Brian Custer

My feelings lay open like a book that has been read (for centuries) and continues to do so;   my head is in the clouds where I see everyone looking trying to find some resemblance of a constant.   My heart beats ceremoniously to the sounds of love, deafening my continuity.   My soul is free, floating amongst the breezes, touching you all.   I want so much that can't be had. I understand so much, it needs not be said.   I see so much it rattles my head… I say nothing.   I speak to those whom want to listen and try not, those whom want to be heard.   I feel so cherished Beloved; by those who are hardly in my life (none by which constantly are there)   more grandiose than pure madness; I want more that will allow.   walk the earth in search for (her) that everlasting love that waits.

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

walk the earth in search
for (her) that everlasting
love that waits.

There is a feel that this is bigger than one person. Perhaps an entity of the embodiment of love. You use words like for centuries, I speak to those, everyone looking, etc. It just makes me think this is for all of time and those that have ever experienced love. Am I way off base here? It is a wondrous poem with all of its mystery. Thanks for entering the Missing Him, Missing Her contest.

[Brian Custer]

I am interested in all viewpoints! Please feel free to read my work! Much Love!
Brian ;)

[Mick Parsons]

I wonder what the feelings are and what the attributes are of the beloved... after all if the feelings are an open book, then everyone should see them, concretely.

One of the things I notice, too, is that, like many love starved speakers, the speaker in this poem is more about "I" than "her."

The tone is very honest, however, and the form the poem takes... truncated short lines... lend it additional emotional intensity.

[J. A. Svercek]

This has great flow and imagery (already this is sounding like a sub-standard response), and it is packed, albeit gently, with emotion.

Some grammatical errors:
"I speak to those [who]
want to listen and try not [to],
those [who] want
to be heard."

There are others, but they are not as noticeable. Also I think the "(her)" in the last stanza could be left out.

Thanks for writing,
J.

[Roxie Martelli]

I like how you open the poem with a sense of vulnerability. Its nice to see. I really like how the first 4 stanzas have to do with things that are yours (bodily and emotionally) and how the next 4 are having to do with action and what is done. Each stanza being about 3 or 4 lines is nice because its not too much to anylyze, so it doesn't feel like a chore when you try and take the poem apart. I especially loved this one

"I speak to those whom
want to listen and try not,
those whom want
to be heard."

There's something to it. I feel like if I read it some more I'll get more of the meaning from it. Just one of those pieces that you have to keep chewing on till you really get what you feel is the right thing ya know?

Thanks so much for writing. Great piece. Welcome to WC!
Best of Days
Roxie