God forgive the grey.

She escapes into her mind for a while, a place she does not have to fight to understand.

Nobody notices the long silences and averted eyes, as she sits and ponders all of her plans.

Sometimes she manages to loose herself, but these are the best times of them all...

When she does not have to fake the next breath, when she doesn't have to fight the fall.

You see when everyday is a fight, and the battles never end...

you start to loose pieces of yourself, pieces you will never see again. 

Those pieces become the most important part, and suddenly you have to choose...

between being less than you were before, or completely ignoring the truth. 

So you decide truth is relative to the perception of those who receive it,

and you can be what you once were as long as you can make them believe it.

She sees them do it everyday, they seamlessly live this lie.

Congratulating false victories, and consoling the failures of all the half hearted tries.

Maybe that is all they have...only half of there hearts...

and hers being whole makes he broken, that is what sets her apart. 

She feels so much regret in her life, how is she supposed to push through...

when she can not accept the common bullshit that they feed to all of you?

If happiness is real, than she would like to see it...

If this lie is the only truth she has she wishes she could believe it. 

If right and wrong are like black and white, than god forgive the grey...

because that all she sees now every single day!

She escapes into her mind for a while, a place she does not have to fight to understand.

Nobody notices the long silences and averted eyes, as she sits and ponders all of her plans

Reviews

[Ryan Riley]

Love this! Very well written. Sometimes the only place we can feel normal I'd in our own thoughts. Where have you been?

[Ian Gilmour]

We find more comfort in lies but more righteousness in the idea of the truth. To me it seems that most people in the world live in the black or the white, but the ones who struggles the most reside in the grey. They are the lucky ones. Interesting concept backed up by good writing. Well done.

[Malister Mikey]

This poem is my favorite of all of them I have read. great work

[Joshua]

Wow, that was a challenging read - very confronting honesty from you Jessica. Poetry has the power that not much else can have when it comes to this sort of expression. Thanks for sharing from the heart - broken, injured, courageous or not.

[Justin]

that was really good :) you put alot of emotion in it!! it sucks being down but all you can do is pick yourself up and move on :)

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Do most people feel this way? I just know that I've spent a lot of time feeling different from other people, trapped in a world and situations that make no sense to me, surrounded by judgers who don't get it.
Writing is a great way to break free, though. And you seem to be doing well with that. :)

[Jessica Lynn Polley]

I don't know if most people feel this way but I always have...today is not a good day I kind of feel like I am breaking down...this poem is my way of trying not to. I am really glad you like it though.

[Jake Donald Stephens]

I had a pretty bad one yesterday, as my status messages have surely reflected. But we have our writing to help us through it. And writer's cafe, through which we may help each other. :)