Looking

I don't want to be your reason for resisting,

or even where you draw the line...

it is just that this whole time I have been existing,

the world has been anything but kind.

My dreams always have me searching,

and I always come up short...

not even for sure why I am still looking,

or even what I am looking for.

I can not just keep on pretending,

as I shadow my own youth...

and I am not sure why I held on,

when I know it is not in you.

You see my future is blinding,

and I am not sure if I can be...

half of what you are expecting

when I know it not in me.

I have no definition and no certain meaning...

I  can not tell you what it is,

I just know I need to find it...

I need it just to live. 

My heart is constantly breaking,

and I am not sure why.

My air flow has been restricted,

and my hope has all but died.

The shadows here are shifting,

my fear now has a face...

I have eaten from the tree of knowledge,

and it has left a very bad taste.

My weakness is my virtue,

my downfall is my strength...

If I was just a little weaker,

I could let go of yesterday.

My dreams always have me searching,

and I always come up short...

not even sure why I am still looking 

or even what I am looking for.