Inside myself beside myself

I am in a better place than now, 

a more solid time than this.

Somewhere that everything I can be...

mixes with everything that is.

With a softer cushion to land on,

and somewhere safe to plant my feet.

I thank my lucky stars Ive found it...

what ever it may be. 

I solidify in my structer

I am strong and unmoved.

I have let go of every peace of me...

that was holding on to you.

I do not have much left.

But what I have is real.

And the stone cold heart inside of me 

is finally starting to heal.

A rush of warmth engulfs me

I rest safe inside myself.

As long as I have this treasure

I do not need anybody else.

I am not above all others

I take my humbling bow.

I just want to be seperate,

from the here and the now.

I want nothing from this world 

I want only to make my own.

I want to snuggle right into these words.

I want to go home.

...and then I wake up...

reality sinks in

the pitter patter of my heart

stops...and starts again

I was so close this time

to never waking up

to letting go of everything...

to finally having enough.