Life of Raven Black (February 20, 2008)

remember people i am not an expert!

February 20, 2008

It figures that Jane was the one that Kyle was talking about that one day. He said that she was crazy and you know what I could see how he could see that in her. All during the day yesterday I noticed that she would mutter to herself and occasionally rock back and forth. It was really weird and I was almost scared for her. I realized that that is the same thing I went through when I got here. That is what happens when you go through with drawls. As Jane and I headed to the café for breakfast Kyle saw us and ran to catch up with us. When he saw who I was with he froze. Like he had literally been shot with a freeze ray.

“Hey babe.”

“Hey, this is Jane.” I looked over to her and smiled. “She is my best friend.” She looked away when she saw him and I could tell that there was something that they were not telling me. I brushed it off my shoulder. I did not want something like that to ruin my happy mood.

“So,” I said happily “Lets all go get some breakfast!”

“Oh, sorry babe but I have to go do some things around the center.” Kyle said kissing me on the check and leaving. Even when Kyle was gone Jane couldn’t look at me. So I just walked ahead and got in the food line. It wasn’t really worth anything because the food was terrible. I didn’t eat a thing! Jane did though, she finished her whole plate. She was defiantly making progress. After we both were done we went back to my room. I sat on one side of my bed and Jane sat at the other.

“What’s up?” I asked excitedly.

“Nothing much, just tired.”

“No, not that. I meant what was up with you not talking to me all through breakfast. I meant what was up with you not even looking at my new boyfriend. What was up with that?” as soon as I said boyfriend she looked shocked at me and then looked down.

“That is what I mean.” I said dryly.

“Nothing… really.” She was lying, I could tell.

“Stop lying to me, Jane.” I paused “You can tell me, cant you?” I looked at her intently. She finally lifted her head and looked at me. The look on her face was of complete despair. She then got up and rushed out of the room crying. I hesitated to get up and go after her. But I did. I wasn’t just concerned about what she was supposed to tell me but I was concerned about her. She kept on scaring me. When I found her, she was on her bed faced-down crying. I ran up and hugged her tightly.

“I… just didn’t,” she gasped “I just didn’t know!” she said between sobs. She kept on repeating this.

“It’s ok! It’s going to be ok!” I said after the fourth repeat of: I just didn’t know! Then I started to wonder.

“What didn’t you know?” I asked gently. She looked at me.

“I… I saw Ky-.” She stopped herself.

“Go on!”

“I saw Kyle with Karen.” She paused and I looked out the window, still holding her in my arms. “It was the night before you came back!”

“What are you trying to say, Jane? That he is cheating on me with that b***h?” I let go of her and shook my head. I got up.

“No!” I walked across the room to the door. “That is bullshit!” As I stormed out I heard Jane let out a ragged sob. I didn’t care! She is a f*****g liar! Kyle wouldn’t do that to me! He loves me! I walked back to my bedroom to find Kyle sitting on the mattress. It must have been around one by now, so he was on his afternoon break. I ran over to him and rugged him tightly. He hesitated, but hugged me back. I then sat next to him but he got up. I must have had this puzzled look on my face.

“I am just shutting the door, babe.” And he did, then came back and sat next to me. As soon as his butt hit the mattress he started making out with me. I kissed him back passionately! The next thing I knew we were lying on my bed, both of our shirts off and he was on top of me. I realized what was happing and stopped what I was doing. He kept on going trying to get mine and his pants down at the same time. I took my hands and put them on his arm tightly, trying to get him to stop, but didn’t. He just tried harder and faster to get my pants down. I ripped my lips from his.

“Kyle… Kyle please stop!” I said calmly, still trying to be calm. But he didn’t.

“Kyle, KYLE STOP!!” I yelled! This time he got the message and rolled off of me.

“What?” he said.

“I… I can’t!” I paused “I’m not ready.” I said calmly.

“Well whatever!” he grabbed his shirt off the floor. “Karen was ready.” He said under his breath, but it was too loud and he knew it. He looked at me is a shocked face.

“What did you just say?” I looked at him with my gapping mouth. I got up and put my shirt on. Then I walked calmly over to him and slapped him across the face. He kept his head down , not moving. I opened the door.

“Get Out!” I said. When he didn’t move I got so angry. “Get the F**K out of my room!” he looked at me angrily and went out of the room. I fell asleep crying that afternoon. I was exhausted. I would never want to see him again.