Life of Raven Black (February 15, 2008)

 

February 15, 2008

            Last night was amazing but seriously how is this going to help anything? I have a new boyfriend and he is totally amazing but how id this ever going to help? I am still in a deep depression and I still want to die more than ever! Can anyone help me?

            I woke up once again to knocking at my door. Shots. Once again I was ripped from my sheets and taken to the café for shots. Once I was done, I tried to walk off but was stop by Mrs. Huntington snatching my arm like I am some worthless rag doll.

“You have a visitor, Raven.” She snarled. I didn’t say anything as she escorted me to the visiting room. I expected Sky or maybe even Jane, but I was wrong. There sitting at the same table as sky was when she came to visit was… Matt. My heart stop and I froze in my place. Mrs. Huntington jerked my arm once again almost causing me to fall. Thank God that I caught myself just in time. Mrs. Huntington open the door and shoved me in.

            Matt had changed. Oh my God, he had changed. He now ear-length black hair with red tips, snakebites and he even had a little bit of eyeliner on. He had gone totally emo.

“Hey.” He said looking up at me and smiling. As I got closer to him I noticed that it wasn’t eyeliner on his eyes, it was dark circles from lack of sleep.

“Hey.” I looked down at the floor and out of the corner of my eye I saw a frown slip across his face. I immediately sat down in the chair farthest away from him. I was very deeply ashamed that he had to see me in here. He didn’t take the hint and sat down right next to me. I looked up at his ocean blue eyes and a tear slid down my cheek. He whipped it away with his palm and put his hand under my chin. I pulled away. He then got up and walked up to the front door. A buzzer went off and it opened. He went inside and disappeared. I cried and cried and cried while he was gone. Letting out huge sobs that would make the devil shed a tear. I wanted so much to have my whole life back. I wanted so much for me to be normal. By the time he got back I was finished and my nose was all stuffed up and my eyes were red and puffy. Matt walked swiftly to the table and got right up close to my face. I felt that maybe he was going to kiss me but then he whispered in my ear:

“Come with me.” He said it in the way that would make any girl melt, which I did. He took my hand and led me to the door. I stop dead in my tracks.

“It’s ok,” he said “I asked the people and they said it was ok.” I took his word for it and went with him outside. We walked out into the garden and sat on one of the benches. I looked off into the distance, at a road I had not noticed the day I was out here with Kyle in the field. I thought about how much time it would take to make a run for it and escape this hellhole.

“Don’t even think about it!” Matt said catching the vibe that I was obviously giving off. I chuckled.

“I wouldn’t make it anyway.” I answered plainly. He laughed and stared at me. We must’ve stared at each other for the next 10 minutes before a shout came from the building. It was Mrs. Huntington tell me that the time was up and that I had to get back inside. We both stood up and walked back to the main path. We looked at each other in the eye and he gave me a hug. I was shocked at first but the I felt my arms rap around him and at that point I didn’t want to leave, at that point I wanted to stay with him forever. My mind faded back to Kyle and I had to pull away early. To tell you the truth I really like Kyle. He had contacted me, lifting me out of my darkest nightmares and my dark hole of depression. I actually really liked him. Matt left after that and I walked slowly back to the building. I took as much time as I could outside. But sadly Mrs. Huntington was waiting at the door for me. She took me by the arm, not saying a word and led me into this broom closet place. Once inside she shut the door and swiftly backhanded me. I feel to the floor, hitting my head on a very sharp object. I then blacked out.