Life of Raven Black (February 14, 2008)

February 14, 2008

Why the hell would someone do that? Tell me, why would someone steal from someone they knew? Oh yea, because some people are crazy a*s fuckers. Like the fuckers in this place. God, it was my f*****g MP3 player too. That thing is my f*****g life now that I moved in here. I hate these people in here. I hate how stupid they are and how they think they are soo bad. They f*****g prove it by stealing s**t. God, I am so mad. Sorry, sorry. I really am sorry. Ok let me just get off the subject and tell u what happen besides getting my f*****g Zune stolen. Grrrrrr… Ok here it is…

Yesterday was a Wednesday and it was a dull Wednesday at that. Especially without my Zune; which got stolen the night before. The only thing I did today was go to the art room and drew a couple of pictures. They were depressing little b*****s. They were mostly about some back holes of death and despair. That is when I realized that I had fallen into a deep dark hole of depression. Gosh, what is happening to me? Was it the drug with drawls? Or was it this f*****g place? Probably both. After the art session, I went to Mrs. Huntington’s office to report the theft. She was sitting at her office looking over some papers.

I knocked on the wall. “Hello?” I was being nice about it. I didn’t want to piss her off. She set the papers down and looked at me sternly.

“Hello, can I help you sweetie?” wow she must’ve gotten laid last night.

“Umm… yea I wanted to report a theft.” I paused, she sighed, “Last night while I was sleeping, someone stole my Zune. That’s an MP3 player.” I sighed. That was actually pretty hard for me because I hate her.

“Did you know that electronic devices are not aloud? Any knowledge of the device ,reported or other, the device will be confiscated.” She smiled at me coyly. That b***h. She took my Zune. B***H!!

“So… you… you, took it!”I gasped out. I was trying so bad to hold back my anger.

“Now that information is confidential!” she cleared her throat, “Now if you can excuse me, I have some business to tend to.” She said shooing me with her hands. I rush out of there before I had the chance to kill that b***h. As soon as I got in the hallway, way far away from her office, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I am so mad at her.

“God, she is such a B***H!” I screamed again.

“Yea she can definitely be a … b***h sometimes.” Someone behind me said. I turned around. A guy with spiky brown hair and blue eyes was behind me. He had a uniform on. He must work here.

I am in a bad mood but I lighten up for this hottie. “Hey.” I said shyly

“Well, hi my name is…”

“Kyle” I interrupted him, “Name tag.” I giggled, he laughed.

“Well shows how much I know.” He laughed again and I giggled again. Hot, funny, cool, and older; man, I like this guy.

“Soo… Oh yea, my name is Raven!” I held out my hand and he took it warmly. His hand was big and muscular. Not too muscular, just right. He seemed nice.

“So, I have to go see Mrs. B***h, so maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Yea, that would be… cool.” That would be cool? What the hell was I thinking? That is the stupidest thing that came out of my mouth all month. Gosh.

The rest of that day was pretty boring except for dinner. As I walk through the dinner line I think about the new guy I meet. I think about how nice he was and how funny he was. I mean you should have seen his face when he made those jokes, the faces he made were hilarious. I mean they weren’t like a cartoon character face, they were just funny. As though he was reading my mind he came up behind me unexpectedly and scared the s**t out of me. He laughed at how high he saw me jump. I giggled flirtingly at his laugh. I finish going through the dinner line and ended up with a chicken parmesan dinner with carrots. It might sound good but damn it was bad. I had had it before and it was nasty as hell. I just got it this time because I don’t eat any red meat and that is all they had left up there besides this. I was going to throw it away anyway. As I sat down at an empty table I felt a person sit beside me. It was Kyle.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey.” I said back.

“So how long have you been here?”

“I don’t know a week or so.” I paused, “I lost track.” I said sarcastically. He smiled at me. I smiled back

“So umm… how long have you been working here?”

“Only about 3 months.”

“Oh… cool.”

“So uh, how would a young thing like you get in a place like this?”

“What do u think I would’ve done?” I ask suspecting an answer, “and I’m 16.”

“Well if I had to chose from depression, drugs, alcohol, and craziness, I would have to pick…” he paused, obviously thinking of the right answer, “depression.” I was kind of shocked and appalled. I gaped at him.

“What?” he asked. I looked down. I kind of wish it was depression that sent me here.

“Drugs.” I said shamefully.

“Hey, its ok,” he put his hand on mine, “it happens to the best of us.” I looked at him. He looked at me. You can defiantly could feel the friction between us.

“Soo… what’s your room number?” he asked. I was surprised that he would ask this because I didn’t hardly know him. My face was flabbergasted.

“Whyyy?” I asked looking him in the eyes.

“Well tell me the number and I’ll show you.” He said obviously hiding something. The thing is, is that I don’t know if it was a bad something or a good something. So I took a chance…

“142.” I sighed.

“Great.” He said smiling. I threw my food away and told him goodbye before heading back to my room.

That night as I sleep soundly in my plain white room I dream about my life before drugs. Dreaming about how good things were going before that party in December. Then out of nowhere I saw myself in the basement of Stitches’ (a drug dealer I bought from) house doing weed with him. I winced.

“Get me out!” I screamed in my dream, “Get me the hell out of here!!” I screamed even louder. Stitches and the me in the dream looked at me and gave me an evil grin.*Bang* I was awake. There was a loud tap at my door. I looked at the clock. It read 2:13 am. I then got up and answered the door. It was Kyle.

“Hey!” he said excitedly. I, at the time, was in short shorts and a spaghetti strap top. Now if you haven’t already known this I am kind of self conscious when it comes to my body and other people seeing it. Well at the time I am. So, I cracked the door, leaving it open so he can get in, and I ran to get my robe. He comes slowly in after me. I whip my robe off of my bedpost and slip it on. The robe is only a little longer that my shorts, like to my knees, it is red and black with no apparent design.

“Soo…?” I said.

“So, are you ready?” Kyle said holding his hand out to me.

“Ready for what?” I asked taking his held out hand. He led me out of the room and down the hall. I looked around the center. It looked kind of empty and scary. I felt like I was breaking the rules. Oh, wait, I was breaking the rules. Patients were not supposed to out of their room after 10 pm. But I was with a guy that I actually trusted a lot, even though I’ve only know him for a short time, he seemed kind of trust worthy and gentle.

“So when was the last time you’ve been outside?” he asked heading towards the side exit. You see the rehab center doesn’t let you outside when you are in the critical unit, which I am in. They would only let us look open our windows in our room. I know to you maybe it seems like this isn’t a big deal, but for me this was something I dreamt about.

“Forever!” I looked excitedly at him.

“Your not gonna run, right?” he asked stopping me from running to the door. I looked at him sternly.

“Noo!” I said smiling, “Now, would I do that?” I smiled big at him.

“Yea, I think you would.” He looked at the door and then back at me, “Maybe we shouldn’t…” he looked at me. I looked at him with a sad face.

“Nooo! I promise that I well not run.” He laughed at me.

“Do you think I would just take it away just like that?” he smiled at me and I giggled at him. I ran to the door opening it and running out to the open field. I spread out my arms and acted like I was flying and went in circles around the field. While this was happening my robe slipped off and fell to the ground, leaving me in my shorts and my tank top. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kyle walk casually out the door. He wasn’t even a bit worried of me running away. I spun myself in circles and feel to the soft grass gently. I stretched out all my limbs and then curled up into a small ball. The soft grass felt good against my bare skin. I closed my eyes and almost feel asleep until I felt a presence besides me. I sat up to find Kyle casually looking at the moon. His stare made stare at the moon too. It was defiantly beautiful tonight. Its brightness illuminated the whole field. We looked into each others eyes.

“Has anyone every told you, that you have beautiful blue eyes. Your black hair really makes them lighter.” It was a cheesy line but I liked it.

“Nope you’re the first one.” I blushed. He smiled, leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was powerful but weak, soft but hard, intense but then again so not. He was the answer to my prayers of help.