Sweet Release

Poem about cutting

This glistening blade unleashes a crimson flow
But a few drops, but there the same
Pain gives way to relief
Finally I am rid of my stress... for now

Times are hard, and I get depressed
I wanna believe it can get better
But it hasn't
And it won't

I'm running out of places to cut
Marks all up my arm above my elbow
Maybe the inside of my thigh will work
Rubbing would help too, if I ever had the desire

Twice today, and once more before I sleep
This is gone way out of control
Life is too hard and cutting isn't relieving the stress quick enough
This time I may actually do it

Yes, this time I cut for the last time

Author's Note

Doesn't rhyme, but I like it that way I think

Ambiguous end. Could be suicide or ending cutting.

Up to you

Reviews

[Harry Alston]

Always a fan of the lack of a rhyming scheme: makes it seem more free and flowing, but that's just me. Great poem, really, Unfortunately I get a real lack of sincerity; I think maybe it's the lack of emotive vocabulary. You use the words "stress" and "pain" but do they really sum up the extent of agony people who are willing to cut themselves undergo?

I'm not so sure.

Maybe you just tried to tackle a huge issue in a small space and I'm not getting it; I'm glad you left it ambiguous though, too often this sort of poetry has an incredible malaise finality to the whole thing.

[Steven Cash]

I would be a liar to say I knew first hand. i've never cut, but have MANY friends who have/do

[Steven Cash]

any short comings come from my inexperience.

[Harry Alston]

I thought it would be that, but I didn't want to make any assumptions. Assumptions offend people. I suppose I can't relate to this story either, having never cut myself.

Audience and reception I suppose, but I appreciate the fact you have tried to tackle an unknown. Kudos to you :)

[Steven Cash]

thanks man

[Ella]

Wow... nice...

[Steven Cash]

Thanks!

[Ella]

Welcome :) I can't think of anything else to say, since.... well... ya... sorry...

[Steven Cash]

np

[camryn hernanez]

i really love this one.....and thats all i can say about it......i really like this one

[Steven Cash]

Thanks Camryn

[Taylor H.]

I used to cut. This was a great poem

[Steven Cash]

Thanks taylor

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Just the one typo that was already mentioned.

But this is really beautiful, I like how you kind of left the ending open, for people to figure out for themselves. The last line is probably the best, I'm glad that you ended it that way.

I also like this part a lot(:

"Pain gives way to relief
Finally I am rid of my stress... for now

Times are hard, and I get depressed
I wanna believe it can get better
But it hasn't
And it won't"


Anyways, beautiful write, great job, thanks for sharing(:

[Steven Cash]

Thanks

[TLK]

I usually prefer non-rhyming poetry, so you don't need to apologise to me.

Only one typo to clear up:
line 2 -- you mean "they're", as in "they are the same".

I like your the stylistic choice of omitting punctuation. It works well here. I'd even get rid of the ellipsis (the ...) and replace it with a line break -- or even two. It would look like this:

"Finally I am rid of my stress

For now"

That looks pretty cool -- maybe you agree?

The last line is the killer, and I was left in no doubt that this person is addicted to the biological changes that self-cutting causes (it affects brain chemistry). I don't think they'll stop. I don't think they'll necessarily commit suicide, though. The link between self-harm and eventual suicide is not particularly massive.
I wonder how this person is hiding the marks. I imagine they're wearing long t-shirts and sweaters all the time, even when it's hot.

[Steven Cash]

Thanks for the review and input

[♋ Iris ♋]

I like this poem. It shows the struggle inside oneself. Great write. Keep it up~!

[Steven Cash]

Thanks

[RachelReaper]

Well I'd like to look at the glass being half full so I'm going to say that he's going to stop cutting, not suicide. This was very honest and gave way to innermost thoughts.

[Steven Cash]

thanks

[Amanda J. S.]

I like it!
Sends out a great message :-)

[Steven Cash]

Thanks Amanda!

[Amanda J. S.]

No problem! ^^