Here Tonight

Amanda J. S. just inspires me sooo much. i am glad to call her a friend. So... well... I gotta try to keep pace at least.

(no shame. Amanda J. S. is my hero, and my main inspiration in poetry. So, I am borrowing some technique and all. Hope she doesn't mind.)

---

We're two lovers in the night

Waiting on the sun to rise

We are the essence of perfection

Everything other couples have tried to be

And failed

We are

Here tonight

We are perfect

Here together

Consumed in our love

Ignited in passion

Ablaze forever

Others watch, hoping

Wishing

They could have it so good

But we have it so good

Because we have each other

Because we are perfect

Together

Here tonight

Author's Note

YEA I DID IT!

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

Nice romantic poem. Good job steven

[Steven Cash]

Thanks baby... wait, do you have a name
i can't keep calling you baby

[Baby Ricochet]

BR is good

[Steven Cash]

Glad so many people like it!

[Pratik]

Romantic... You did justice to your friend...This is a wonderful, honest tribute... Well done :)

[Steven Cash]

Thanks so much, Aaran

[Amanda J. S.]

Lovely!
I don't mind at all! I looooove to inspire others, so you are really just doing me a favor ^^

[Steven Cash]

Yep yep! Thanks again, for the inspiration and for reviewing!

[Amanda J. S.]

No problem! ^^

[_]

That sounds like an awesome romance :D GREAT POEM IT SO LOVELY WOOT WOOT ^-^

[Steven Cash]

Thanks Jamillet!

[Harley (arbiter)]

You could have done better but this was good. Its good that you have the guts to try new types of writing

[Steven Cash]

Yea, and I will keep trying too

Never written anything like this

[Ees]

"Everything other couples have tried to be"- I'd leave off the "to be" you don't need it and it sounded a little heavy surrounded by the rest of your words.
Other than that the words sound very good and the meaning is clear. It is a wee bit stereotypical, passion always ignites, lovers always come together in the night, they're always perfect.
So I think that this was well written, you could have done better. Things don't always have to be mushy in the same exact way.

[Steven Cash]

True true

This is my first thing of this type to write

so thanks for the advice

I may just leave it as is, instead of changing it, and do better next time

[Ees]

That's fine, this wasn't bad, it just could have been more interesting. Yeah, I couldn't write a true romantic poem myself, I don't have it in me. I think it's a good idea to think of things that aren't so obvious the next time .

My very favorite romantic poem is "The Beautiful Poem" by Richard Brautigan. Here it is:

I go to bed in Los Angeles thinking
about you.

Pissing a few moments ago
I looked down at my penis
affectionately.

Knowing it has been inside
you twice today makes me
feel beautiful.

[Steven Cash]

lol sounds erotic

[Ees]

It isn't really erotic just because he says penis. It's sweet, because he thinks about her while looks at his penis. Erotic would be actual description of the action, romance is just thinking about how much they like somebody else in my opinion.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Very romantic... to feel blessed to have such a wonderful relationship full of passion is Fabulous! Nice work my friend!

[Steven Cash]

aw, thanks so much Robbie

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I enjoyed reading it. :)