Terror of SOHO—Original Urban Legend

A Chapter by Steven Cash

I wrote this. Absolutely original

In New York City in the SOHO (South of Houston Street) District there is a particular legend floating around. On July 18^th, or the 17^th if it’s a leap year, if you are brave enough you can unlock the power to untold wealth. First you must go to a shop, any shop in the SOHO district will do, and buy any two Chinese daggers, with a total cost of $10 with tax. Haggle with the market man if you must.

Then you must go to an old abandoned shop named ‘SOHO Hunan Imports’ and wait until 11:34 pm that night. Once it is 11:34, you must begin to draw’''是無辜的’ on the wall of the closed down shop. It doesn’t matter what you draw with, but if it’s red you are more likely to experience success. A crayon or marker or even spray paint will do.

Now you must write all of''是無辜的’ (which means “We Are the Innocent) except the last character. Once you have all but the last, close your eyes and say “Reveal to me, ye who dwell here, what you want plainly seen”. If you say it in Chinese you are more likely to get a response, but any language will do as long as you are willing.

When you open your eyes you will see a man standing next to you. He will be facing the wall, using his own writing method. You won’t see his face, because he will wear a long cloak and hood. He will slowly scrawl on the wall the final character. Now, this is where you must follow closely.

As his hand overs over the final stroke, plunge the first dagger through his hand into the wall. He will scream in pain, but fright to keep his face shielded from you. You must take his other hand, despite the fight he gives, and drive it through his other hand on the wall.

Once this is done, leave immediately and go home. Do not speak to anyone as you go.

The next morning, return to the site. You will see the daggers where they should be, but do not take them out until 7:06am. At that time, take them out and take them back to the store. When the man asks you why you want them returned, say it’s because they “failed at their task”. Nothing else, you must say that exact phrase.

He will give you your $10 bill and a receipt. The receipt will reflect your purchase, but it will have a credit card number at the bottom. From now on if you ever need money, make a transfer from that account.

Oh, one more thing to note. When the man hands you back the receipt he will be wearing gloves. These are to cover the scars you gave him the night before.

Do not ask him about why he wears gloves and try to act as if you don't notice, or he will kill you with the daggers you are returning.

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